It is amazing to me how so much of my heart can be stuck in one place
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| August 22, 2003...our last picture |
And still be so present in another.
Oh my heart. I love these people so much and they make tomorrow just a little bit easier.
Showing posts with label the girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the girl. Show all posts
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dance Recital
Here is the cutest video you will ever see.
Amelia is the first one of the "Queens" coming out, check out her face!!!
She is who everyone is laughing at...my little clown.
Not to be forgotten though is Little Sister...
Have a fun and safe weekend friends!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Queen of my Heart
This weekend Amelia reached an important milestone in her life. She had her first dance recital.
As I pulled her hair into a bun, applied makeup, and put her costume on her, I was taken back to my MANY dance recitals.
The smell of the hairspray, the taste of the lipstick, the costumes, the sequins, watching the older girls, being afraid I would forget something...
But most of all, just having fun.
And that is what she did. She had so much fun and I loved watching her.
The theme for the recital was Alice in Wonderland. Amelia's little class were the Queen of Hearts. She did such a great job with her "grumpy" face at the beginning. Everyone just laughed and laughed.
The lighting was SO bad that I couldn't get a good picture of her dancing (no flash photography please). So, this was her grumpy face that Jeremy caught after. She is hilarious.
For my girls, the highlight of the weekend was having my Mom (Meemaw), Jeremy's Mom (Grandma) and Jeremy's sister (Aunt Sissa) and girls (Carlie and Josie) here. This picture is the 3 girls after the recital. Carlie was mesmerized through the entire recital and Libby was doing her own recital.
It was so much fun and we can't wait to do it again next year. Hopefully next year we will have 2 little girls doing a recital. That will be fun!
Monday, April 18, 2011
To My Daughter
After telling her to get dressed, she comes running out of her room in a lemon yellow skirt "The twirly one you made for me Mama", and a brown shirt with teal, pink, purple and green butterflies on it.
She brushes her hair and puts in a headband and clips in her bangs to hold them back.
She throws on her favorite shoes, her dirty purple flip-flops, and does a spin.
"Don't I look beautiful Mama?"
Her hands are always marker stained from the hours she spends drawing, coloring and creating daily. She has chewed her fingernails down to nubs, and her hair is like mine - thick, coarse and very unruly.
She rides her bike without abandon. She never walks, she dances. She loves with all her heart and soul.
She hasn't realized yet that clothes and shoes should match. She doesn't know that hair should be neatly brushed and styled. She doesn't understand that marker stained fingernail nubs are not attractive.
She is 4. I wish I could go back to 4 and never learn the so-called social fashion faux pas that I now know.
I wish I could love myself the way she loves herself. I wish I could get dressed in whatever feels comfortable and think to myself, "I bet everyone will think I'm the prettiest girl they've ever seen today", just like she does everyday.
She is a princess in every sense of the word. She loves life with such zest and freedom and I love her for that.
Don't ever change my darling daughter. Stay so happy, sweet, loving, kind and free.
She brushes her hair and puts in a headband and clips in her bangs to hold them back.
She throws on her favorite shoes, her dirty purple flip-flops, and does a spin.
"Don't I look beautiful Mama?"
Her hands are always marker stained from the hours she spends drawing, coloring and creating daily. She has chewed her fingernails down to nubs, and her hair is like mine - thick, coarse and very unruly.
She hasn't realized yet that clothes and shoes should match. She doesn't know that hair should be neatly brushed and styled. She doesn't understand that marker stained fingernail nubs are not attractive.
She is 4. I wish I could go back to 4 and never learn the so-called social fashion faux pas that I now know.
I wish I could love myself the way she loves herself. I wish I could get dressed in whatever feels comfortable and think to myself, "I bet everyone will think I'm the prettiest girl they've ever seen today", just like she does everyday.
She is a princess in every sense of the word. She loves life with such zest and freedom and I love her for that.
Don't ever change my darling daughter. Stay so happy, sweet, loving, kind and free.
As we walked to get Seth from school today and you rode your bike with your skirt flying in the wind, this was my wish for you. This is my wish, today and always, that you will always be true to yourself and remember how beautiful you are.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
If you Give a Kid a Camera
They will have a LOT of fun. And you will have some great pictures of their day.
Photos by Miss Amelia Mae. I think she has a real future as a photographer, don't you?
And for your protection, I took out all the pictures she took of my bum. It is as big as my belly these days and that is saying something!
Photos by Miss Amelia Mae. I think she has a real future as a photographer, don't you?
And for your protection, I took out all the pictures she took of my bum. It is as big as my belly these days and that is saying something!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
33 Weeks and a Big Fat Bruise
*Update* Zappos came to the rescue and completely took care of the shoe situation. They are issuing a full refund and letting me exchange my shoes for others. I have opted for some great looking Danskos, a shoe with a great reputation. So I feel good about it. YAY for Zappos!
How do you like that shadow? It's the best I can do as far as belly shot right now. That is me in all my 33 week glory. I feel like a whale, I waddle a lot, my back hurts and I am exhausted. But I am so blessed to be able to carry this sweet little person inside of me. To have another human being growing and living and depending on me. I am blessed.
*****
Remember how Amelia just learned to ride a two wheeler? Well, this little girl will ride that bike anytime I let her. Yesterday, she and Seth were out riding and I was doing something inside. I heard her scream and immediately waddled out to see what was wrong. She came in holding her elbow and told me she fell. She had a small scrape on her elbow and a nice big goose egg on her chin (is it still a goose egg if it's on the chin?). In typical Amelia fashion, I got her cleaned up and she went right back out to ride. But, not before posing for a few photos for me. My little ham.
*****
Remember how Amelia just learned to ride a two wheeler? Well, this little girl will ride that bike anytime I let her. Yesterday, she and Seth were out riding and I was doing something inside. I heard her scream and immediately waddled out to see what was wrong. She came in holding her elbow and told me she fell. She had a small scrape on her elbow and a nice big goose egg on her chin (is it still a goose egg if it's on the chin?). In typical Amelia fashion, I got her cleaned up and she went right back out to ride. But, not before posing for a few photos for me. My little ham.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Watching
I love to sit and watch her.
Her imagination goes wild.
She is always inventing, dreaming, playing, creating.
I love watching her work, sing, play.
She makes my heart sing, and reminds me that I am doing something right with her.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
4 years...When Did That Happen??
Today you are 4. In the last 4 years I have had more joy than you will ever know. Your birth was so amazing and I think of it often. The power and energy I felt coming from you as you were born and the ease with which you slid into this world were both indicative of your personality. Of course the fact that I was in labor just to have everything stop and you not to come for another 8 days should have told me something about your personality also!!! You were a pokey little puppy even then!
You are funny, caring, sensitive, thoughtful, creative, tender, fierce, strong-willed, happy and just my sweet sweet girl. I love listening to you when you are making up songs or stories, or both. Your creative mind never ceases to amaze me and I love it. Your fashion sense can not be beat and I hope you teach your sister all about it!
I am so grateful for you. You are such a great big sister to Libby. You are teaching her so much everyday and I love watching the two of you play together.
You are such a great sister to Seth. He loves you and loves playing with you. I love watching your relationship grow and develop.
You are my sweet girl and I love you so very much. Today on your 4th birthday, I want you to know how utterly grateful I am to have had the last 4 years with you and look forward to MANY more.
I love you baby girl.
Love,
Mama
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Living in the Land of Make Believe
The door opens and he is off. Running at break-neck speed he is in his own world, fighting the bad guys and doing his Jedi Knight duty. In the grocery store, through the mall, down the hall at a hotel, or just down the sidewalk, they are everywhere and need to be stopped. He is the boy to do it. Wearing his brown Jedi cloak with Light Sabers at the ready, he is going to bring justice and peace to this world.
This is the world my 5 year old lives in and has for the last few years. I didn't realize when I said, “Hey buddy, I have a new movie for you to watch”, what that would mean. I set up “The Phantom Menace” for him to watch and went to sew. A little while into the movie, he came bursting into my sewing room saying, “MOM! Obi Wan just killed Darth Maul!”. I replied, “I know honey. Is your movie done yet?” “NO! I just HAD to tell you!”. He then disappeared into the play room to unearth the blue light saber he got for his second birthday. “MOM! Where is my light saber??? I have to be Obi Wan!”. We searched through the mounds of toys and eventually found it. He tore off upstairs to finish watching his movie. A little while later, he returned, light saber in hand and a wee bit starry eyed, looked at me and sighed, “When I grow up I want to be a Jedum Knight”.
This is not the first time my sweet boy has had an alter ego. No, the first time was when he was 2. He decided that he was Roo, I was Kanga, Daddy was Tigger and his baby sister (still in the womb) was to be Pliget (no, I didn't type that wrong, that is how he said it). He would answer to nothing other than Roo and refused to call us anything other than Kanga and Tigger. In fact, on the aforementioned Light Saber, it actually says Roo. We needed to mark it so we knew which one was his when we went to visit his cousins, and he insisted on it saying Roo. I digress...we were the House at Pooh Corner for a long time. Just when I thought I'd never be able to call him by his given name, it stopped.
Through the last two years we have gone through many different names and phases. There was a time when he was Buzz Lightbeer (yep, again with the mispronunciation! )Then his sister got old enough to understand what was going on and she got in on the act. For a while, I could only call them Andy and Molly from Toy Story. Another time they were Annie and Sandy Dog (him Annie, her the dog), Mary Poppins and Burt, Characters from Word World or Super Why (PBS morning shows) or, my personal favorite, their cousins. They will play that they are Andrew and Meredith and I am Aunt Nanny and Daddy is Uncle Chip. They refuse to call us Mama and Daddy, those are not our names. My children live in the land of Make Believe.
Before I had children, I didn't completely understand this. I would see a Mother at the store with her children dressed in costumes in March and think “My children will never do that. They will be dressed nicely, or at least in real clothes, every time I go out.” I would then smile and remember how I loved playing dress-up as a child, and the look of recognition would cross my face. I would remember how I lived in the land of make believe, a Princess stuck in the tower of the castle just waiting for her brave Knight. Or Annie, living with Miss Hannigan (sorry Mom) singing of the time when my real parents would come to get me. Then I realized that I too lived in the land of make believe.
When my now 17 year old nephew was 4, he was Han Solo (or Luke Skywalker, whoever was needed at the moment). He had his trusty Wookie, Chewbacca (his Dad, my brother), Princess Leia as played by Mom and gave names to everyone else in the family. I was an Ewok. That was the first time since my own childhood that I encountered such make believe. I lived across the country from him, but it didn't stop him from including me in his imagination. For that I am grateful. It prepared me for the wonderful adventures I would have and could have as a Mom to my imaginative little ones.
Today, when I am walking behind my little Jedi Knight - light saber out and fighting off the imaginary battle droids - I see that look of recognition on the faces of men everywhere. Whether it be teenage boys trying to act as cool as they don't feel, college students so busy with their lives, young married men anticipating the day when they can play again too, or Dads who get to play it daily with their own little ones. The look of remembrance of a time when they too were young. A time when they too had no cares in the world. A time when they too could live in the land of make believe. When I see that look, I smile and hope that when he is no longer a Jedi Knight, he will still have that imagination and will remember what it felt like to pretend and to live in the land of make believe. I hope he never forgets it because I know I never will.
This is the world my 5 year old lives in and has for the last few years. I didn't realize when I said, “Hey buddy, I have a new movie for you to watch”, what that would mean. I set up “The Phantom Menace” for him to watch and went to sew. A little while into the movie, he came bursting into my sewing room saying, “MOM! Obi Wan just killed Darth Maul!”. I replied, “I know honey. Is your movie done yet?” “NO! I just HAD to tell you!”. He then disappeared into the play room to unearth the blue light saber he got for his second birthday. “MOM! Where is my light saber??? I have to be Obi Wan!”. We searched through the mounds of toys and eventually found it. He tore off upstairs to finish watching his movie. A little while later, he returned, light saber in hand and a wee bit starry eyed, looked at me and sighed, “When I grow up I want to be a Jedum Knight”.
This is not the first time my sweet boy has had an alter ego. No, the first time was when he was 2. He decided that he was Roo, I was Kanga, Daddy was Tigger and his baby sister (still in the womb) was to be Pliget (no, I didn't type that wrong, that is how he said it). He would answer to nothing other than Roo and refused to call us anything other than Kanga and Tigger. In fact, on the aforementioned Light Saber, it actually says Roo. We needed to mark it so we knew which one was his when we went to visit his cousins, and he insisted on it saying Roo. I digress...we were the House at Pooh Corner for a long time. Just when I thought I'd never be able to call him by his given name, it stopped.
Through the last two years we have gone through many different names and phases. There was a time when he was Buzz Lightbeer (yep, again with the mispronunciation! )Then his sister got old enough to understand what was going on and she got in on the act. For a while, I could only call them Andy and Molly from Toy Story. Another time they were Annie and Sandy Dog (him Annie, her the dog), Mary Poppins and Burt, Characters from Word World or Super Why (PBS morning shows) or, my personal favorite, their cousins. They will play that they are Andrew and Meredith and I am Aunt Nanny and Daddy is Uncle Chip. They refuse to call us Mama and Daddy, those are not our names. My children live in the land of Make Believe.
Before I had children, I didn't completely understand this. I would see a Mother at the store with her children dressed in costumes in March and think “My children will never do that. They will be dressed nicely, or at least in real clothes, every time I go out.” I would then smile and remember how I loved playing dress-up as a child, and the look of recognition would cross my face. I would remember how I lived in the land of make believe, a Princess stuck in the tower of the castle just waiting for her brave Knight. Or Annie, living with Miss Hannigan (sorry Mom) singing of the time when my real parents would come to get me. Then I realized that I too lived in the land of make believe.
When my now 17 year old nephew was 4, he was Han Solo (or Luke Skywalker, whoever was needed at the moment). He had his trusty Wookie, Chewbacca (his Dad, my brother), Princess Leia as played by Mom and gave names to everyone else in the family. I was an Ewok. That was the first time since my own childhood that I encountered such make believe. I lived across the country from him, but it didn't stop him from including me in his imagination. For that I am grateful. It prepared me for the wonderful adventures I would have and could have as a Mom to my imaginative little ones.
Today, when I am walking behind my little Jedi Knight - light saber out and fighting off the imaginary battle droids - I see that look of recognition on the faces of men everywhere. Whether it be teenage boys trying to act as cool as they don't feel, college students so busy with their lives, young married men anticipating the day when they can play again too, or Dads who get to play it daily with their own little ones. The look of remembrance of a time when they too were young. A time when they too had no cares in the world. A time when they too could live in the land of make believe. When I see that look, I smile and hope that when he is no longer a Jedi Knight, he will still have that imagination and will remember what it felt like to pretend and to live in the land of make believe. I hope he never forgets it because I know I never will.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Moving On...
I have this outfit, perfect for the holidays. Black pants with sparkles, a red sweater with a black fur trim...it's not mine. I bought it on August 23, 2003. My Mother-in-law and I went to Children's Orchard that day because they were bringing out all of their winter gear. We bought a coat and several outfits. I just finished showing my father-in-law those outfits when my nightmare began, when Jeremy's Mom came down the stairs holding my lifeless baby in her arms.
I have given the coat away, just couldn't bear to keep it. Some of the outfits have been worn. But this one, this holiday one still has the tags on it.
It never fit Amelia during the holidays, and I was always a little relieved for that. However, it is Liberty's size. She would look so cute in it this week as we go out and play as a family.
I just don't know if I can do it. If I can take this last bit of that day and put it out there for me to see, to hold, to touch. I bought it for my baby girl, I bought it for her to wear on Christmas. I never would have dreamed when I was shopping and she was dreaming at home she would be gone so quickly. I thought it would be fun to dress her up, and then let her sisters wear it as they got older.
So many plans that never were. So many wishes and hopes for her that I don't get to see...
Now though, I have these other girls. These wonderful, happy, loud, ALIVE girls. I love them, I love them so much, so fiercely.
I guess it's just another part of moving on, of moving past the pain that pain that never really ends, just grows different with each passing year.
I think I'll wash it and let her wear it. I will let her wear it and imagine what Emma would have looked like in it. I will wonder if she would have been walking at a year, what she would have eaten in it, what she would have played with while wearing it, maybe she had a blow-out diaper in it and made a big mess. I will dress my Liberty in it and smile and hold her just a little bit tighter.
I have given the coat away, just couldn't bear to keep it. Some of the outfits have been worn. But this one, this holiday one still has the tags on it.
It never fit Amelia during the holidays, and I was always a little relieved for that. However, it is Liberty's size. She would look so cute in it this week as we go out and play as a family.
I just don't know if I can do it. If I can take this last bit of that day and put it out there for me to see, to hold, to touch. I bought it for my baby girl, I bought it for her to wear on Christmas. I never would have dreamed when I was shopping and she was dreaming at home she would be gone so quickly. I thought it would be fun to dress her up, and then let her sisters wear it as they got older.
So many plans that never were. So many wishes and hopes for her that I don't get to see...
Now though, I have these other girls. These wonderful, happy, loud, ALIVE girls. I love them, I love them so much, so fiercely.
I guess it's just another part of moving on, of moving past the pain that pain that never really ends, just grows different with each passing year.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
These Girls, my Life.
Photos by Jasmine
P.S. If you haven't already, head on over to my review site and enter to win the Cheer Giveaway. Today is the last day!!!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sisters
Click to make biggerI look at these three pictures every day. They are the photos on my wall. One always stays the same while the other two have changed often. These three girls, my three girls, sisters. I just wish they could grow up together and laugh and fight and do all the things that sisters do.
The quote (in case you can't see it) says, Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. I love it. So very true. They each are so similar, yet so unique and special.
I am so very blessed to be each of their Mama.
Monday, September 14, 2009
My Talented Little Girls
Seriously, I am so lucky to have these two girls in my life. I can't wait to see what they do with these extraordinary talents.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Then and Now
Then
Now
Then
Now
Looking through pictures of my kiddos from 2 years ago this month...it blows my mind how much they've grown and changed. I am just so lucky to be their Mama.
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