Love for Arianne

There are people you meet in your life who you feel like you've known forever.  People who you meet online, then in real life and think, "haven't I always known you?"

I have a handful of these friends that I have met online.  One of them is throwing a virtual shower for another one!

Waiting for Wicked in New York.  Yep, I'm a hot sweaty mess. Aren't they gorgeous though?

Arianne is one of my favorite people in the world.  She and I have similar parenting styles, philosophies about life, and Angel daughters waiting for us up above.

Ari is pregnant and due any minute now.  I found out she was pregnant at Blissdom this year.  She pulled me aside and said with giddy anticipation, "I'm pregnant! but SHHHH don't tell anyone, ok? I'm only about 6 weeks".  I squealed and hugged her tight.  The babe in my womb jumped for joy.

I knew she would have an emotionally rough road.  Just 18 months ago she gave birth to her sweet Mabel Love.  Pregnancy + Grief = crazy emotions and lots of crying. LOTS OF CRYING.

But, I knew she could do it.  And she has.

Ari and Sara on our way to a NYC apartment where we sang  Newsies all night long.

So, to celebrate this amazing woman, who so many adore, our dear friend (and Ari's twin (not really, but OH MAN, you should SEE the two of them together. They really are twins)) Sara Sophia, has organized an amazing online baby shower!

 Sara Sophia has contacted some of the most amazing companies to give Arianne fabulous gifts.  And, those great companies are giving them to Sara Sophia's readers also!

But that is not all.  Even though free stuff is amazing, there is another aspect to this shower that I especially adore.  The writing.  Arianne and Sara Sophia are writers at heart.  Their words resonate with so many, and just flow off their fingertips.  They appreciate good writing, and not so great writing (like mine, ha!).

So, Sara Sophia has contacted many of Arianne's friends to have us write a little something for her.  My words come straight from my heart and my experience. I read them again and I cry every time because they are so so true.

Please join with me in showering Arianne with love as she prepares for the birth of her new beautiful baby. 

Positive/Negative/HUH??

I have taken a lot of pregnancy tests...a lot.  There is something about peeing on a stick and watching it do something that is just so fun!  Every time I have peed on said stick, I have wanted the same thing, to be pregnant. 

Only a few times have I gotten a response I didn't want.  But it never took long and I got the two lines, or the plus sign, or whatever the almight test deemed a positive answer.

This week, however, I got an answer I didn't really want.  Not yet at least.  I am tired, I have mentioned this before.  And, while I know I am not done having babies, I also know that I just can't handle another right now (or in 9 months).

So, when I took the Equate (Walmart brand) pregnancy test yesterday and it came back positive (faint line, but still positive) I cried.  I cried because I just didn't think I could handle this.  I told my husband, 3 good friends and my Mom.  My folks were ready to move out here to help me, one friend came over with cupcakes and Dr. Pepper.  I started to feel ok about it.

This morning I went to the doctor.  I had an appointment for my yearly exam and to get an IUD.  The irony was not lost on me at all.  I told her that I had taken 2 tests yesterday and they both came back positive, so they did another test.  This one was negative. HUH?  She then had blood drawn to check my hCG levels.  The lab was super fast and the results came back within 2 hours.  Negative.  My hCG levels were at like a 2 and to have a positive pregnancy test they have to be at 100.  HUH???

I have always thought that you could get a false negative, but not a false positive.  I have taken another test, this time a fancy schmancy digital one that says, "NOT PREGNANT".  Ok, starting to believe it...but what if???  To say this has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. 

So, it looks like I'm not and really I am happy.  I want to get in shape, I want to be healthier, I want to get some sleep before having another baby.  I want need to be in a better place, emotionally/mentally/physically/spiritually, before I get pregnant again.  So really, this is a good thing, really.

But there is a part of me, a small part, that is a little disappointed.  Because really, who doesn't love a baby?