I sat in the crowded room with some of my favorite people, who just happen to be bloggers. We were discussing the opening keynote address by Brene' Brown this morning. As we munched on our fajita's and mango mousse cake, we talked about how we try so hard to be perfect.
We try so hard to be everything to everyone. I sat listening. I was listening with my head and my heart. I was realizing I am not alone in this feeling of complete inadequacy.
We are all striving for perfection. We all want to be perfect, but at what cost?
Some of us stay up all night long just so we can get everything done for the next day. Some of us feel that if we don't have the clean house, perfect meal on the table, well behaved children, smart well rounded children, if we don't bake our own bread, make our own pasta, eat 100% local and organic, sew ours and our children's clothes, knit all of our socks, volunteer our extra time, AND look like we just walked out of an Anthropologie ad - we aren't enough.
There is an all or nothing idea we have. If we aren't doing it all, we aren't doing anything.
This isn't true though. I sat there listening to these women who I so admire, and felt that familiar ache in my heart. The one I feel when my children are feeling bad about something. The one I feel when I hear Seth tell me that he isn't good enough for something.
I looked at them and said, "You realize that there was only 1 perfect person to walk the earth, and it isn't us right?"
As I said those words, it was as if God was speaking directly to me at that moment. The words I needed to hear, to remind me that I am not supposed to be perfect, just to do the very best I can and remember that He will pick up the rest.
After I left lunch, I went and bought Brene' Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection.
I want to be imperfect and learn everything I can from that. I want to rely on God to help me when I can't do it all.
I want my children to realize they don't have to be everything to everyone. That what they can offer when they try their hardest, is enough.
I want for every one of my children to realize that they are enough.
I am going to continue to strive for perfection, but I am also going to cut myself some slack and remember that I am not perfect, but what I am is enough.
I am enough. And so are you.