I am sitting at a table with a few ladies I know in a room of strangers. We are all listening to several bloggers read selected posts. I have been laughing, and holding them in my heart. I am tired though and my feet ache and my baby is asleep on my chest. I am getting hungry and really I am ready to be done.
The Emcee introduces the last blogger to share with us. My heart skips a beat, I know I won't get through this one without tears. I know I will be crying when she is done. I am prepared for this.
Heather Spohr gets up and talks about the kindness of her internet family. All of those who have left comment after comment, sent food, gifts and prayers. All of those who have wrapped their real, and virtual, arms around she and her husband as they have had to do the unthinkable, live without their daughter.
Our stories are so similar. Beautiful girls with amazing blue eyes taken suddenly, oh so suddenly. Becoming pregnant shortly after the death of our daughters. Having broken hearts and subsequent sleepless nights. Learning to walk this broken path of grief now compounded with pregnancy hormones. Having to say that this is not your first pregnancy and getting the strange looks when they don't see a toddler hanging off of your side. The heart that has a big fat hole in it that can't be filled, but starts to be a little by this new person.
As she spoke, I was taken back 5 years 11 months and 1 day. That is how long Emma has been gone. I was taken back to the food, money, prayers, phone calls, emails, posts on my due date forum, all from women I only knew through print. Women that held me in their hearts.
The internet truly is an amazing thing. I have made some of my best friends here and have received some of the most tremendous support from you, my dear friends.
To some people, the internet is a strange place. Not everyone completely understands the power of the internet. When Emma died, I had women that I'd only met online rush to my side. When Heather's little Maddy died, the same happened for her. It happens over and over and over. We pray for those who are hurt, sick, suffering and in need of comfort. We stand by each other. We try to right the wrongs that happen. We support each other.
This is what it is about. As I sat there with tears in my eyes, my dear friend looked at me with tears in hers. She knew this would be hard and understood my tears. Everyone has a story, everyone has a heart ache, we just need to listen to find out what it is and how we can love and support.
This is why I love blogging and why I love each of you.