originally posted in February 2007 on my family blog.
I'm not sure who it was, but someone lied to me. It must have been when I was a very young girl. I remember singing a song..."When I grow up, I want to be a Mother". It must have started then. Someone lied to me when they said this Mothering thing was fun and rewarding. Today, it's not. I have a feeling that my Mother knew that. She just didn't tell me. See, here's my theory. Mom's have a code of conduct. They can not tell their daughters (future mothers) how difficult it is to be a Mother. They can't tell them because then what would happen to our world? Women would realize that they don't get paid to do the work of many, and that it would be hard! If they realized this, they wouldn't do it. Then where would we be? Yep, that's got to be it.
If I have to rescue Amelia from Seth one more time, change another sat-in for hours poopy diaper, tell Seth to stop laying on his sister, listen to her whine, etc.,etc.,etc. one more time...I just might blow. The names have changed but the problems haven't. "Amelia stop laying on Libby!" "Amelia please stop whining!" "Seth don't hit your sister with the light saber!" "Stop teasing!"
Have I told you all how clingy my daughter is? She loves me. I am glad. But seriously, she doesn't need to be ON me 24/7! I promise! She will scream if I leave her sight...it can get really tiring. She still is clingy. Just her sweet personality. But, she's not as bad as she was which is nice.
Oh...but I guess it isn't all bad. I do love the spontaneous kisses, watching them laugh together, and snuggling with them while they sleep. I love listening to them playing in Seth's tent right now with his cars. I love these moments of peace. I guess that is what this is all about. Watching them play together, learn together and grow together.
So, Somebody did lie. While I never knew how hard this would be, I never knew how much I could love either. No one ever told me that I would give anything to protect my child, that I would love them so fiercely that it could actually hurt. No one ever told me just how much I would really love being a Mom. That while there are days and moments when you want to pull your hair out, you wouldn't trade it for anything.
For my babies...I love you more than you will ever know. I will try to tell you all of these things, but, just as I didn't understand, you won't either until you have your own babies. Until you see your child, hold your child, nurse and love your child, you just won't get it. So, I'll do my best. I'll do my best so that I fool you and you want to do this also. So that someday, I can watch you parent and I can have the really fun, rewarding part...Grandparenting!