Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Somebody Lied

originally posted in February 2007 on my family blog.

I'm not sure who it was, but someone lied to me. It must have been when I was a very young girl. I remember singing a song..."When I grow up, I want to be a Mother". It must have started then. Someone lied to me when they said this Mothering thing was fun and rewarding. Today, it's not. I have a feeling that my Mother knew that. She just didn't tell me. See, here's my theory. Mom's have a code of conduct. They can not tell their daughters (future mothers) how difficult it is to be a Mother. They can't tell them because then what would happen to our world? Women would realize that they don't get paid to do the work of many, and that it would be hard! If they realized this, they wouldn't do it. Then where would we be? Yep, that's got to be it.

If I have to rescue Amelia from Seth one more time, change another sat-in for hours poopy diaper, tell Seth to stop laying on his sister, listen to her whine, etc.,etc.,etc. one more time...I just might blow. The names have changed but the problems haven't. "Amelia stop laying on Libby!" "Amelia please stop whining!" "Seth don't hit your sister with the light saber!" "Stop teasing!"

Have I told you all how clingy my daughter is? She loves me. I am glad. But seriously, she doesn't need to be ON me 24/7! I promise! She will scream if I leave her can get really tiring. She still is clingy. Just her sweet personality. But, she's not as bad as she was which is nice.

Oh...but I guess it isn't all bad. I do love the spontaneous kisses, watching them laugh together, and snuggling with them while they sleep. I love listening to them playing in Seth's tent right now with his cars. I love these moments of peace. I guess that is what this is all about. Watching them play together, learn together and grow together.

So, Somebody did lie. While I never knew how hard this would be, I never knew how much I could love either. No one ever told me that I would give anything to protect my child, that I would love them so fiercely that it could actually hurt. No one ever told me just how much I would really love being a Mom. That while there are days and moments when you want to pull your hair out, you wouldn't trade it for anything.

For my babies...I love you more than you will ever know. I will try to tell you all of these things, but, just as I didn't understand, you won't either until you have your own babies. Until you see your child, hold your child, nurse and love your child, you just won't get it. So, I'll do my best. I'll do my best so that I fool you and you want to do this also. So that someday, I can watch you parent and I can have the really fun, rewarding part...Grandparenting!


Lolli said...

I whole-heartedly agree. Motherhood is so much harder and so much more rewarding than anyone could ever know. Nobody told us because we would not have understood it back then. :)

sara said...

I'm in the primary pres so I get to do sharing time a lot. I am SO excited because as I was looking through the assignments for the year I *get* to do sharing time about preparing now to become a mother. I loved that song when I was little also :)

Marly said...

Is that we're waiting for? The grandparenting part?
I remember when I was having really bad postpartum stuff and I had a friend who was having infertility issues. I asked her why she had the trial of not becoming pregnant and I had the trial of having babies and having all the issues I had. It was really hard and I think that's why. I would have sadly been ok with not having kids. I've been able to help my attitude since then and have changed a lot for all the trials of being a mom.

Rhonda said...

I had to giggle when you talked about your girl being so clingy. My kids are the same way. Gracie is horrible right now on needing to be held by her momma! Actually in the evening when I finally head downstairs to watch tv with the family I'll set in my normal spot and the minute my butt hits the couch Grant slides in up against and Gracie sits on my I can't even actually SIT on the couch by them...they have to be touching me...little goofballs!

Mom's Sewing Vault said...

Honey, nobody lied to me. And I had kids anyway! My mom's friends all bet I would *never* have kids. *sigh* It is hard. Like some sort of endurance test. "Baby Boot Camp," except it lasts more than 6 weeks! My 2year old is just starting to not nurse *allll* night, but when she stops nursing, she flops over and lays on me like I'm a giant body pillow, so I'm still pinned! Hang in there. :)

Nap Warden said...

Well, that just about sums up my day;) Well said!

kate said...

oh boy...did they ever lie! and I too have a little lady growth on my hip (as if she didn't give me enough "extra" stuff on my hips already). I now am amazed at everything my parents did for me...too bad we have to wait another 30 years for our kids to realize it too.

Helen said...

I'm in the teen stages with my kids now. In fact, my daughter just turned 19 which is considered an 'adult' here in Canada (ha! who decided that? LOL!) Anyway, I agree that parenting is the hardest job I've ever done and the most wonderful at the same time. I miss the time when mine were little now, but reading your comments I do remember how they would cling to me and fight for position whenever I sat down. It's so tiring, but believe it or not-- you eventually miss it when they are teens and you're worrying about stuff like drinking and being out late at night, driving, etc.
I don't regret a thing- but I look forward to grandparenting one day. I hope I get that lucky:-)