Friday, January 23, 2009

Pillow Talk

The other night my love and I were laying in bed talking. We were talking about what would happen if one of us died. I often ask this question, "What would you do if I died right now?", and he answers something like, "Have a party" or something silly like that.

But, this spurred a much deeper conversation than we have had in the past. What would you do? I hate to think about me dying, I know that Jeremy would be ok, but I worry about the kids. I told him he'd have to remarry. But, she would have to be nice to the kids, and not better than me in any way (if you catch my drift...but of course being the person he is, he wouldn't know that until after they were already married. gah.) Anyway, it is really important to me that she would be good to our kids, but not let them forget me. See, my Grammie's (Dad's Mom) Mom died when she was young. Her Dad got remarried and his wife was AWFUL to my Grammie. She moved out when she was young and knew nothing about her biological Mom. I don't want that.

So, I had a list of demands.

1. My picture would have to remain up for everyone to look at and adore. (and realize that I am MUCH cuter than his 2nd wife)
2. New wife could not be called Mama (that is me and me alone.)
3. I should be talked about regularly and my grave visited very often.(I like daisies)
4. A life of celibacy. What?!?! I don't want to think about that!

I warned him if he didn't stick to these rules that I would haunt him from the grave.

That's our sexy pillow talk. Me dying, his undying love for me and me haunting him from the grave. Pretty hot stuff huh?


Lolli said...

It's pretty scary stuff, isn't it? We talk about it every once in a while, too. My hubby always says, "I just can't imagine having to DATE again." Yuck. The thing that scares me most is the idea that my kids would forget me. My dad died when I was 2 1/2 and I don't remember him. The things that he wrote for and about me and the pictures we have together are treasures. I try to remember that in relation to my own kids.

TopHat said...

We've talked about it, too, especially since DD is so dependent on breastmilk still. What would he feed her? Would he ask the moms in our playgroup to express milk for her? He says he'd probably use goat's milk. It'd also be pretty easy for him to remarry.

I'm actually much more worried if he dies. I could go a few months without working because of our savings, but I'd have to work at some point and Margaret is so small. Also, it'd be almost impossible for me to remarry. I'm 23 and all the guys my age who are looking for marriage are looking to be sealed to their wife. I, being already being sealed to McKay, can't give that to them. I'd probably have to marry a widower twice my age or something like that.

Mommy Mo said...

We've talked about this as well, several times. Death talk always makes me cry, especially when it relates to one of us. We drew up our wills about 1.5 years ago and we went through several different scenarios- what if one of us dies, is put on life support, is in a coma long term and on and on and on. Let me tell you- that's good pillow talk too! I told my hubby that I would want him to be happy and if that means remarrying, then yes, he should remarry. BUT SHE HAS TO BE A GOOD MOTHER TO MY CHILDREN.

I am like Top Hat, more worried about him kicking the bucket before me. He is the sole breadwinner and like TP, I would be OK for a while but eventually would have to return to work. Hubby has even gone so far to explain to me in DETAIL what I was to do if something should ever happen to him. We have had THIS conversation a few times as well. What really makes me mad is when husband reminds me that "the men in his family die young". HIs father died when hubby was only 11 years old and his grandfather died young, and his grandfather's father. I told TO STOP THAT TALK RIGHT NOW.

Kim said...

Wow, I didn't really mean for this post to be as serious as it came out, but I love sparking discussion, so this is good :)
We have thought about what I'd do if he died also. I would move back to Nebraska to be closer to my folks, or to Kansas to be near his folks for help. I don't know that I would get remarried just because I don't know who would want to marry a thirty-something woman with 3 small children. I would probably work to get my interpreters license renewed so I could make a decent living for my children.
Yeah, I really don't like to think about it either...that's probably why I joke about it. Just not comfortable for anyone.

Jen said...

We've had the talks too, I think it's normal to talk about it, especially after my dad died last year. I think it would be very important for either one of us to remarry, since it's so important to have both a Mom and Dad in our home. Although the thought of having to date again terrifies me. I know I could go back to work in a heartbeat (it would only take 1 phone call), and I'd hope my mom would help with the boys. I'm glad we have life insurance so that we have some peace of mind financially!

Becky said...

Very hot! :)

I would want my husband to remarry, too. I just wouldn't want him to like it...