Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I sit in the cool room, enjoying relief from the oppressive heat.  I know soon enough I will have to go back out into it, but for now I am just enjoying this sweet respite.  We play games, read books, watch movies, and itch to go back outside. To play in nature once again, to ride bikes without sweat pouring out of helmets, to climb in trees and to once again play in the great outdoors. We walk out into the heat and it hits us like the opening of an oven.  Our bodies bristle at the intense change in temperature, but we forge ahead knowing there is no other option. ***** I leave the children, all of them, with Jeremy for an evening. The baby is asleep in his bed, the older three are getting ready for bed.  I get dressed and actually do my hair.  It is not very often that anyone sees me without spit-up stained shirt and baby slobber in my hair.  I am going out by myself and I can't wait. It is a girls' night out with girls I have never met before.  I don't care that I won't know anyone, it is a chance to get away and not have to take care of anyone other than myself for a blissful two hours. I go and have fun. We talk about our children, what works, what doesn't. We talk about our lives. Our pre-motherhood selves, the ones that sometimes feel lost.  We sit, we laugh, we listen.  It is a respite for my heat-ravaged soul. The hour is drawing near and I know I will have to go back soon.  I sit enjoying my time, say my goodbyes and head into the car.  He texts me, "You coming home soon?".  I text back that I am on my way.  I am wondering how the baby did. My heart is missing it's other pieces and longing for them again.  My breasts are full and ready to nurse.  I am feeling ready. I start the car and and enjoy the last 30 minutes of silence.  I pull into the driveway and sit for a minute.  I sit in the silence and prepare my body and soul for going back into the heat.


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