Trying

I have started 2 separate posts about NYC and Blogher.

I have started organizing my house and then stopped.

I have been thinking about my boy going to school all day starting on Monday.

I have been busy with my Church work, my Etsy shop and my babes.

I am overwhelmed and can't finish anything.

I have been trying to figure out why and then it dawned on me last night.

Seth starts school next Monday.  Monday is August 23.  Anyone catch the connection yet?  No?

How about now.  Yeah, it's Emma's Angel Day.  Suck of all sucks. I won't be able to grieve the way I want and need to.  I am trying to stay excited for my boy as he gets ready to start 1st grade at a new school.  But it is hard.

Amelia starts dance that day.  She is over the moon excited.  I am not.

I am trying to write about the great time I had at Blogher, but I can't.

I am trying to get my house and my life organized because my house and my life is chaos.  But I can't.  My life is more chaos right now than it usually is, and just ask my Mom, that is a lot.

I am trying to hold it all together and because I am trying so hard, I can't do any of it.

If you need me, I will be sitting in my pajama's, no bra on, teeth unbrushed, trying really hard not to break down in front of my littles.  All the while, I am thinking of this sweet girl and missing her like crazy.