Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Playlist

Music is such a huge part of my life. My family is very musical. My Mom and Dad both have beautiful voices and would often sing in Church. My Dad plays the violin and my Mom the piano. I would fall asleep listening to them playing duets together. My sister and I sang at our Grandma's funeral. Music is such a part of me, something so deep ingrained in me. Music can take me to a different time and place.

It comes as no surprise then that I have playlists for different times of my life. When I am feeling mellow and just want to relax, I listen to Alison Kraus, Natalie Merchant, Sarah McLaughlin, Joshua Radin and Yael Naim . When I am feeling creative or am cleaning, I listen to The Mollies, Sara Barielles and Diane Birch. Sometimes I just want my old standard favorites and then it is Billy Joel, Tim McGraw, The Dixie Chicks, Metallica, Aerosmith, and R.E.M.

In August and December though, my playlist changes. I listen to my Emma playlist. This list has evolved over the last (gasp) 6 years. It started with Lullabye by Billy Joel. Then some songs by Josh Groban were added. Several more songs have been added and this is what it is today. When I find a song that fits how I feel about her, I add it. This is my list. These are my songs that take me back to that time and place. They remind me of my sweet girl. They can bring me to tears and make me smile in the same moment.

This is my playlist. These are my Emma songs.

1. To Where You Are -- Josh Groban*
2. You're Still You -- Josh Groban*
3. One More Day -- Diamond Rio
4. I Believe -- Diamond Rio
5. Who You'd Be Today -- Kenny Chesney
6. The Prayer (with Charlotte Church) -- Josh Groban*
7. For Always (with Lara Fabain) -- Josh Groban*
8. If I Could Be Where You Are -- Enya
9. Wintersong -- Sarah McLaughlin
10. Lullaby -- Dixie Chicks
11. Lullabye -- Billy Joel*

*indicates my original playlist

So, if you're wondering what I'm listening to when my heart is breaking, there it is. More often than not though, it is this one. The one I listened to repeatedly and nothing else for 2 months straight. The one that was in my head and heart when I woke up this morning. The one I sang when I found myself alone in an all too quiet house. The one that my children call the Emma song.

This is the soundtrack of my breaking heart.

Music Playlist at


Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh, tears tears tears. My heart is breaking for you. This song.


Deb said...

music is so special to me, too. i'm thinking about you.

Christy M. said...

It's a beautiful playlist, and Emma's song is so wonderful. I love Billy Joel.

I know you are having a hard time right now, and I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and Emma. Thinking of what should've been. My heart aches for your broken heart.

Lots of love, my friend.

Mommy Mo said...

Couldn't finish listening to that song, just couldn't. Christy and I are reading this at the same time but can't look at each other for fear of collapsing into a heap of sobbing tears. Big hugs Kim.

Anonymous said...

*huge hugs*


parentingBYdummies said...

I have horrible taste in music (think things a 15 year old girl might enjoy). I'm trying to branch out, grow it up a little bit. It's hard. Thanks for the recommendations.

UPrinting said...

Love these songs! I'm a big fan of Josh Groban and Enya as well. I listen to them constantly. Their songs are very uplifting and inspiring. Here's a big *hug* for you.

Elaine A. said...

Music IS so very powerful. My husband and I are both singers and music has always played a huge role in my life. It's amazing to me the feelings it can conjure and memories it can trigger.

I know you are hurting when you listen to these but I hope they bring you some comfort as well. Much love...

Motherboard said...

Tears. Tears. Tears.

That post is beautiful, and that song perfectly describes the heartache you must feel.

This is why I LOVE music so much. Music can often times say WAY more than words ever could.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. You'll see her again. I know it.

Corinne said...

Kim - I'm a relatively new follower of your blog, but I so appreciate your honesty. That list is beautiful - I myself listen to that Dixie Chicks song when I want a good cry...
You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you remember me. I follow your blog but dont comment much. Had to comment on this though. I'm the same way. Sometimes I just need to turn on my "Sariah" songs and just remember what should have been and just miss her for awhile and mentally hug her and wish she could be in my arms. Next week it'll be 8 months since we said goodbye to her. My soul aches for her. every day.