Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Call me what you will...

But I really have a hard time with The Bachelor. Don't get me wrong, I love people falling in love. I can't stop watching it either. Like Heather says, it's a train wreck -- you just can't turn away from watching it.

I have this problem with it though. The fact that this guy is not just kissing, but making out with 3 different women at the same time. Ok, not at the same time, but you know what I mean. He is falling in love with 3 different women for different reasons and is supposed to find one to marry.

Tonight was the most disturbing. Now, lest you think I am a new Bachelor watcher, I have watched off and on since it started. So, this is nothing new to me. It has always disturbed me.

Tonight though, it took on a whole new realm of disturbingness (I know that's not a word, I'm tired). Every season of The Bachelor or Bachelorette, they have the "over night" dates. I am sure that the couple is going to sleep together, but it is never said. I have always been quite uncomfortable with the fact that the guy or girl is going to sleep with 3 different people. Call me prude, but seriously? I think that this is something that is so special, and should not be taken as lightly as it seems. Tonight the Bachelor said that he needs to sleep with these women to see if this is who he wants to marry. That this is an important step in finding his wife. I have a real problem with that. I did not sleep with my husband until our wedding night. I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend Eternity with without having sex.

This bothers me on multiple levels. First, I could not imagine making love to Jeremy, knowing that he had just done it the night before with another woman and would be doing it the next night with another. Second, I would hate to think that my performance in the bedroom would be a deciding factor in whether or not he chose to marry me. Third and most important, I think that it is sad that a couple can not commit to marriage without knowing how compatible they will be in bed. What is this teaching our youth? There is nothing wrong with waiting until marriage to have sex. Nothing at all.

I am not writing this to make anyone feel guilty or bad. For me, it was not an option. I wanted to be clean and pure for my husband, and he for me. I am grateful that we both made that decision and learned and experienced together.

I am also glad that I didn't have to think about the other women that he had slept with or may sleep with in the future. I'm glad I'm the only one.

So, call me what you will, but I really have a hard time with the fact that it is taken so lightly. Something that is emotionally and physically bonding to eachother should be treated as the sacred act that it is.


Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I'll call you "right!" How's that? Agreed, on all levels. And thanks for dropping by my blog so I could "meet" you. :)

Lolli said...

Totally agree with ya! I also find the whole idea disturbing, and luckily don't have to worry about watching it since I don't have tv! :)

gretchen from lifenut said...

I am totally with you. I think it's disgusting and I do not know how or why the women agree to such a thing. It's bizarre.

Mom's Sewing Vault said...

Well said!

Shauna said...

I am new here! What a great blog :)

Lori said...

I hate that show. That is all I have to say.

Mama bee said...

I'm so glad I don't have a tv. The premise of the show, from what I've gleaned, seems... well, stupid. Putting "falling in love", if that's what really is happening, on display for others to watch and enjoy seems silly.

As for the "private time" they have together: I'm not one to criticize. I did test drive the merchandise before marriage, and have no regrets about that. I think that's really a decision for the people in the relationship to make. However, I do think it is a very special and intimate thing, and would be totally creeped out if some guy I was falling in love with slept with me and then two other girls on consecutive nights. Blech.

Reality tv is so ridiculous.

Kim said...

And that is what I am talking about Kristal. It is something that is so special and I think it is just being taken extremely lightly.
I am not one to judge, people can do what they want, however I don't think it is necessary to sleep with someone to know if you want to marry them. And I don't think it's right that you do it knowing full well that he is doing it with 2 other women.
Let's just hope he used a condom ;)

Tina E. said...

Sad thing, with all the research I've done for the Pregnancy Center, I know how risky sex is with condoms when it comes to STD's (you are more protected from getting pregnant than most of the STD's you could get... the useless of condoms for many STD's is frightening, well I could give an education on it but won't)

I'll be seeing some of this type of 'thought' at the Center though and it will be hard to understand. There are some people out there who really do believe people can not help themselves and must sleep with each other when ever the feelings arise. There is no self-control, nor should you want to have to be self-controlled, that's just society and religion keeping you bound to unnecessary rules and regulations.... Do what you feel is right! Ugh.