Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I am sitting here nursing Libby, the baby that looks so much like my first baby. I am looking at pictures of Emma and am struck with how similar these two sisters are. Not just their looks, but their temperaments too. They are both very calm babies, happy unless they're hungry or poopy. They both are quick to smile and slow to be sad. They both hate the carseat. My dark haired girls. Those eyes...
Every time Seth says a prayer, he asks for "Emma to come back to Earth." If only it were that easy. I think that if the faith of a child can't bring her back, it's not going to happen. At least, not any time soon.
I miss her. This last weekend, my good friend, Nicole and her family came to visit. Her daughter, Aurora is the same age as Emma. She is so tall now. She draws really good pictures, cuts nicely, is losing teeth, loves Kindergarten, and is my sweet boy's best friend. I often wonder if Emma comes to play with Seth and Aurora when they are playing together. Or, if she sent Nicole into our lives so that Seth could have a big sister still.
Her birthday is coming. This time of year is always so hard. The month before her birth and before her death, I think so much about what I was doing when she was still here. I was so very big and so very uncomfortable this time 6 years ago. I was trying so hard to get her to turn from being breech. I was so very excited to meet her, hug her, kiss her, see that little face.
This is pretty all over the place. I am just missing her so much and I needed to write about it. Go hug your babies, right now. I don't do it enough and know how much it hurts when they're not here for you to hug anymore.