Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Homeschool Dropout

Hello, my name is Kim and I am a homeschool dropout.

It has been 2 weeks since I last homeschooled and my son is now in public school.

This is hard for me to admit, but homeschooling is not the best option for my family.

I have been reading blogs of amazing women who homeschool, for years.  I always thought that I could do it too.  They keep their houses clean, their worlds organized, they craft, they homeschool, they do everything.  It can't be that hard.

But it was.  I couldn't keep up.  I felt like I was drowning all the time.

So, I surrendered and have put faith in the public school system again.  I have never had a bad experience with Seth in public school.  I pray I never do.

I worry as he is gone all day, with a teacher I don't know, with kids I don't know, in an environment I don't know.  I worry that he will get made fun of, that he won't fit in, that he won't understand what is going on.  I worry, I worry, I worry.

I want to control every aspect of my children's lives.  But, I know I can't.

So now, I let go and I do what I know is best for my family.  Just like those amazing women I spoke of before, homeschooling is not the best option for my family.

So, I am a homeschool dropout, and that is ok.

**Thank you all for your love and support yesterday.  I heard from many of you via twitter, facebook, here and in my inbox.  Your encouragement and prayers helped me and my sweet boy through the day.  He did fabulous and loved his day.  He didn't want me to walk him to his class this morning, he's got it covered he said.  I will still worry while he is not in my nest, but know that he will be okay and will tell me if something happens that he is not comfortable with.  And I am so grateful for that.


Tender Heart Bear said...

I am glad he had a good day. I was going to home school my kids. But then I thought about it and I decided that they can go to public school and be with there friends. I think that is what they need is to have friends while they are in school.

You are not a home school drop out. You just have to much going on with all the kids and the baby on the way. That is why you couldn't do it anymore. It has just been to much for you.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Perfectly ok!! Hope you're doing awesome today. :)


Erin said...

You should be proud of yourself for realizing your limitations and seeking out what is best for your son, even if it means admitting that you couldn't be that best.

*Lissa* said...

I am proud of you for doing the best for {you}.

Polka said...

you should always do whats best for your family :)

Stacy said...

I'm a homeschooling drop out too. It was an epic parenting failure. Turns out I have the heart of a homeschooler, but I don't know that i have the organization or the will to actually follow through with it. It hasn't kept me from considering it for next year though, now that my kiddos are older.

Elaine A. said...

It's definitely not for everyone and that's OKAY. I'm so happy that he has a wonderful day and I hope they continue! xoxo

Beth said...

Breathing a big sigh of relief that he had a great day! I know it was hard for you, but you got through it and each day will get a little easier. I've never attempted to homeschool (I just don't think I've got what it takes!) and I still have days when I wish I could just keep my boy at home with me! I didn't read your post until yesterday after I had one of those moments. I kept my boy home from 1st grade in the morning because he woke up coughing a lot. Then, after his sisters went to school, he was fine (little turkey). When I brought him to school a couple hours later, I went to the office with him to sign him in and was prepared to walk him to his room. Then he told me he could do it by himself and it about broke my heart watching my "little" grown-up boy walk away from me. I thought to myself "I totally understand the quote about having children is like having your heart walking around outside of your body!" Totally get it cause every time I see the glimmer of him growing up and away from me it breaks my heart a little bit. Hopefully day #2 was easier on both of you and he had another great day! ;D

a Tonggu Momma said...

I'm so glad he had a good day yesterday and hope he has another wonderful one today! And you aren't a drop-out! Drop-out means giving up, and you didn't give up, you just made a different choice. Hope you are doing okay today. It's hard, those first big days letting go.

Lisa @thebeadgirl said...

it doesn't work for everyone. and you can always change your mind.

you are not a dropout. this just isn't your season!