Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Ah such a big word...priorities. Yet so often it is something that we don't think much about. Sure, we hear people saying that their families are their top priorities, or that they have their priorities in order. But what does that mean? What does it really mean?

This is something that has really been weighing on my mind and in my heart recently. What is most important to me? My family. Hands down, the most important thing in the world to me. My husband and children. They mean more than anything to me. However, do I show them this? Do my actions, what I do daily, reflect this? Or do they wonder if I love them more than I love...well, this blog, or other blogs?

I have a hard time balancing things. I want to be the best at everything I do and typically when I attempt this, invariably something suffers and I fail. I do not know how to be the best Mother, Wife, Housekeeper, Homemaker (two different things that I will talk about in another post, another day), Friend, Sister, Blogger, Reviewer, etc, etc, etc. I just can't do it all. And this is hard to accept.

I sat my family down this weekend and told them that I needed their help with the cleaning of the house. I can not do it all alone. I just can't. My house is a mess and while I don't need it spotless, I would LOVE to have a home where I don't have to make a path from the front door to the kitchen. So, I made a chart for myself with what chores I have to do daily, weekly and monthly. I'll let you know in a month how it is going.

I also gave my children more responsibility and made them each a chart. So far so good...of course it has only been 2 days, but I have high hopes.

Back to me wanting to be the best. I just want to do everything I do the best that I can. Sadly though, my family has been suffering. My children have been asking for more and more of my time. And, when I say asking, I mean demanding, screaming, crying, acting out. It's hard. It is really hard to balance it all.

This has brought up some big heart felt discussions with my darling husband. I have talked and he has listened. I have shared my concerns and he has listened. Through his listening, I have really heard myself and what I am saying.

I need to slow down. My babies will only be babies for such a short time. I know how quickly it goes and how quickly and unexpectedly these babies can be taken from us.

So, I am slowing down. I may not be posting everyday. I have to say that it scares me to write that. What if I don't post everyday and I lose people who like to read my blog? Will the few of you who read my blog continue to if I don't post daily?

But, what if I don't slow down, and don't stop posting everyday and lose the people who rely on me for everything. What if they stop trusting me and stop demanding my time? What if they think that I love my blog and the computer more than I love them?

That would break my heart. So, I am not going to read as many blogs as I do now. I am going to turn away from the computer and towards the sunshine and my children. I will check blogs at breakfast and lunch and after the kids are in bed.

I am going to be the Mama that my children deserve. Because really, they are what it is all about. They are my top priority. And how could they not be?


Lolli said...

Beautifully written. Thanks for the reminder. :)

King J's Queen said...

You are absolutely right! We all need reminders occasionally. I spend so much time visiting blogs, I sometimes lose track of real life.

I'm a first time visitor to your blog (bopped over from MckMama), and I usually lurk for a while before commenting. I like to "get to know" the writer first. But, your post really touched my heart. I had to comment.

eringoodman said...

beautiful. i have talked with so many mom writers/bloggers lately who are struggling with this very issue. i have recently made some changs to my blogging schedule for this very reason -- i only post 6 days a week now and i use "schedule posts" so i can do a block of posts in one setting, instead of trying to blog in 'real time' every day.

so anyway...yay for you! and just so you know, i'm here to stay.

thank you.

Marci said...

I can totally relate and know exactly what you're talking about.
Cute blog, btw.

AbeSaves said...

You won't lose me! Good luck with the chore chart. Josh and I put one together for ourselves, hoping it would regiment us into keeping up the house....it has really helped us. Take Care.

Mama bee said...

We'll still be here. Enjoy the sun (now that it's starting to come back)!

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

I am so proud of you...can you be proud of someone you don't really know? It takes so much courage to admit to not being able to do it all and to ask for help and to set healthy limits!! Beautiful.

sara said...

I need to make a chore chart. I feel the same way you do. The computer hasn't been taking up a ton of my time lately but my exhaustion nausea sure has. I feel like it's an ok excuse but I know I really could do more. It's shameful how the laundry and dishes have piled up. I haven't even been IN the basement in weeks so I had no idea what it looked like until I took my visiting teacher down there to get her son. I've only cooked 2 meals in the past 2 weeks. I think it just got SO easy to be lazy that it's my routine now even though I'm not so sick anymore.

Linn said...

Beautiful! Great decision, I say. The rest of us will be here whenever you write. Your darling kids need you now. You are fabulous my friend!

Lisa R.D. said...

Beautifully written... and so appropriate. I go through periods of guilt for not having posted anything on my blog, and then I realize that experiencing life with the ones I love is more important than blogging about it. I still need help making sure my "priorities" know that they are my priorities. Thanks for a great reminder for me today. And as has been said before, we will be here whenever you write!

Jessica said...

Everyone has already said what I wanted to say, so I will just offer you a big squishy ((hug)) because it sounds like you need one.

Nicole said...

I have no blog guilt, (as you well know) but yes, priorities. I struggle with this daily. Honestly, I know what has to go, but how do I give up something I already committed too??? I am hoping by the end of the year it will be done. I wish it could be sooner though.....then I could be a better mommy and I could be a better friend too. One that takes road trips.....up north.....to see you! :) LOVE YOU!!

Mommy Mo said...

Are you inside my head? Mother of three, struggling to keep my head above water, children doing anything and everything they can to get my attention, house needing work all the time..... did you write this post or did I?

You don't have to post every day in order for me to still visit.

Heather of the EO said...

A very common struggle, huh? (the comments) You know I'm right there with you. And though I say I'm going to cut back, I have a lot of trouble doing that. Addicted. But I'm going to keep trying, because like you said, nothing matters more than my family.

Great post!

erika~ the inspired mama said...

well said kim! i totally agree, your beautiful family is absolutely #1!!


Momto3LittleFlowers said...

Hey there... The best way to solve this situation is scheduling your posts... You can work on the posts like the You Capture or the Wordless Wednesdays or any of those regular posts that you do, scheduled in ONE day. Then, they will get posted by themselves on the day to asked them to. This way, you wont neglect the blog you love, but you can also be playing with your kids, WHILE the posts are being posted.

As for the blogs you read, here is what I do... I have TONS of blog to read. So, I dont read them everyday... I set a day or two days every week, and I actually sit after the kids are in bed and READ them all!!! (that is what Im doing right now... ).. It honestly takes me 2 or 3 hours, but I enjoy them without feeling guilty.

Good luck with any decision you make!