Push

At 18 months Seth had 250 signs and just as many words.  He has always been bright,and I have always felt the weight of being his Teacher on my shoulders.

For as long as he could talk, he has been asking questions. He has had an insatiable love of learning and has always been curious how the world around him works.

I try to foster that love of learning, to answer his questions and to help him find new avenues to the answers himself.

Now I wonder if I have done enough. I feel such guilt that I haven't pushed him hard enough. I've let him play when I should have encouraged him to be working. I have let him goof around and read the texts that he enjoys.  I haven't pushed him and now I fear that is to his detriment.

What if in my sheer exhaustion, I have prevented him from reaching his full potential?  Is it too late to change it?  

Can I push him now?  Should I push him now?

These are the thoughts weighing heavy on my mind at 8:43 on a Thursday night.