Thursday, April 7, 2011

These Dreams

When I am pregnant I have the most vivid dreams.  Ok, even when I am not pregnant, I have really vivid dreams, but they take on a whole new life when I am pregnant.

Last night I had a dream about a guy that I had a crush on in high school.  I wrote him while he was on his mission for our church, and when he came home we saw each other once and that was it.  I never understood it and really, it broke my heart.

I thought in the last 15 years I had gotten over it. 

But last night...

Last night I had a dream that we found each other on Facebook and he asked me to marry him in a very sweet elaborate way. 

Trouble was, I was pregnant (love when truth seeps into my dreams) and he wasn't active in the church so I knew we couldn't get married in the Temple, something that is very important to me. So, I took the HUGE rock he offered and told him I needed to pray about it.

Then somewhere in that dream, I remembered I was married to Jeremy already.  How was this going to work?  How could I be married to Jeremy (the man I love and can't imagine one day without) and marry this guy who I used to really care about and was offering a really big diamond? (By the way, I hate big diamonds. I wanted a silver band when I got married, for real).

So, I woke up from my slumber because Libby was crawling into bed with me and I had to go to the bathroom.  When I woke up, I was praying.  I was actually praying about what to do.

I laughed it off, peed and went back to bed.  The dream continued (seriously, only when I'm pregnant!) and we were planning our wedding now.  I was trying to figure out what to do that weekend because I had a date with my husband (you know, the one I ADORE) and a date with this new guy.

Again, I started to pray.  And woke up to a kiss from my beloved telling me there was a smoothie in the fridge for me, and the dream was done.

This is not the first time I have woken up praying in my dreams.  I do it a lot.  I do it when Seth is having a hard time at school, when Amelia is struggling with getting along with others, when Libby won't sleep at night...

I wake up praying.

I like that.  I like that even in my subconscious sleep, I know that I can lean on my Heavenly Father and He will listen.  Even if it is about something completely fictional, and that gives me peace.


Pamela said...

Isn't it awesome to know that our God is always with us, even when we're not even awake? And how wonderful that your spirit seeks Him in such a diligent way.

Megan@TrueDaughter said...

Beautiful! What an enormous faith you have, that you are even praying in your sleep. Blessings to you, I have enjoyed your blog very much since I found it through Loralee.

tawnya said...

I do that too...

And I HATE when my dreams are just seemingly 'paused'. Sometimes I just want them to end!

Andy Fairbanks said...

i have stumbled upon your blog and find myslef sound like my mother. always praying. but this time it doesnt upset me. there is something deeper about the prayer you are talking about and it intrigues me. please tell me. what, or who do you pray to. what do you pray for..and why. I never know who to talk to, there are always so many voices competing for a say in my head.