And Sometimes They Live

Today I am talking to those of you who have lost a babe.  There is something so scary about having another one after you know what can happen.  Your heart races when you think about loving this new little person and giving so much of yourself again, just to have it possibly destroyed, again.

You might wake up in the night sweating and have to rush to check on your baby.  You may not feel your babe moving in your womb and immediately start calculating when the last time you felt them was and rush to get a glass of orange juice to wake them up.  You might think about their impending birth and have a full on panic attack.

This is all normal.  Seriously, it is.  You see, when you know what it is to lose something someone so perfect, precious, and YOURS, you are forever changed.  You will never look at the world the way you once did.  The naive part of you is gone.  You will assume the worst.  You may just assume your next child will not be born, will not live, will not live past the age that your sweet angel left you.

But I want to tell you something.  I want to give you hope.  It has been almost 7 years since Emma left us.  In that time she has gained 3 siblings.  And guess what?  Sometimes THEY LIVE.

Usually they live.  We are the exception, not the rule.  Enjoy those flutters, kicks, birthing pains, late nights, sore nipples, first teeth, first words, first steps and more.  Because they are going to continue. 

My baby boy, the one who came to heal our hearts and fill our arms just a month after Emma died, that boy who I was SURE wouldn't live past a year, that same boy just turned 6 and is starting 1st Grade this fall.

Sometimes they live.  Hang on my friends.  It won't always be as hard as it is right now.  Hang on to my promise and know that when you need reassurance, I am always here.