Aren't You Glad?

I started an incredibly boring post this morning about how my washing machine is broken and I have a pail full of dirty diapers (anyone want me to review a new washing machine? haha), and realized that I really had nothing interesting to say today.

So, here is something interesting...some of my favorite photos of November.  I can't believe this month is already gone.  I'm ready for December, you should be too...I have some BIG giveaways scheduled for next month on my review blog

Without further adieu....the best of November....

 

1. My children and their crazy awesome sense of style (Seth is wearing the cover for the piano keys around his neck)and, I so wish Libby would have held still for 2 seconds for me to snap this picture.  You can't tell, but she has on her boots, crown, and has her two bucket purses...this girl is 100% girlie through and through.

2. Signs made by my son and put under the stairs.  Enter if you dare...oh yes, if you dare :)

3. A morning spent hiking with friends and "searching for clues".  Clues to what...I am not quite sure.

4. What is better than 2 piggie tails? 3!

5. All 3 of my babies coloring at the Border's Fancy Nancy party (where Amelia won a Fancy Nancy book too!)

6. Chilly morning fort building and the light that streams into my living room.  I love it.

7. A wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with 3 of my 4 siblings and their kids.  23 people in my house and we had such a great time!!!

So, now I am ready for December and the craziness exciting holiday madness that it brings!

Holidays

My stomach is full, my house is clean once again, my children are happy to have had so much time with cousins...Thanksgiving is over.

Today, on this day after Thanksgiving, while so many are out shopping and getting the best deals they can, I am sitting at home working in my sewing room.  My thoughts are swirling about in my head as I reflect on the last day.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have holidays and know that someone is missing?  Have you experienced it?

Emma was alive to celebrate 1 Christmas, 1 New Years, 1 Valentines Day, 1 Easter, 1 Fourth of July...that's it.  No Hallloween or Thanksgiving for her.  Never a Labor Day party, and she was too young to remember any of those holidays.  For the last 6 years I have had holiday's and birthday's without her.  For the last 6 years I have wanted to leave an empty spot at the table for her.  For the last 6 years I have not said much during the actual day because I don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable.

However, this year, I hosted Thanksgiving.  I made place cards and when I did, there was one left over.  I wrote her name on it.  I just wanted to know what it would feel like to write her name and pretend that she was here, that she would get to help me make pie and set the table and make decorations like her brother did.  I just wanted to know what it was like to say her name in a way other than how I do...dripping with longing.  I just wanted to pretend, so I did.  I pretended that she was at her cousin's house having a sleep over and she would be here with them.  But she wasn't.

Holidays are a glorious time of year, but they are also so hard for those of us who are facing them without our children.

While you are giving thanks for all you have, please hold your little ones extra tight and remember those of us who have empty arms, either partially or completely.  While you are celebrating, be gentle with those who are facing their first holiday without their babies, they might not want to do any celebrating (and that's okay).  While you are having a fabulous time, remember those who aren't and say a little prayer for them to have their burden lightened.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to walk this path...well, now you know a little more...it is a hurt that never ends.  But, the love, support and understanding of family friends helps and makes it just that much more bearable.

Thankful

The blogosphere is alive with giving gratitude, isn't it great?  I love this time of year when we all sit back and count our blessings and realize how very much we have to be grateful for.

I am so grateful to be here, to share this space with each of you.  I am thankful that I have the gift of gab and can put those words into print and that you each care about what I write.

I am thankful for the many opportunities this blog has given me and my family and each of you.

If it ended tomorrow I would be okay though.  I am most thankful for the friends I have made here and my wonderful family.

These people, they are what it is all about.

So today I am going to make a lot of pies and rolls and ham and get ready to host Thanksgiving at my house this year.  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  Have a glorious and safe weekend...I'll see you on Monday.

Frickin'

While having a particularly difficult time with  my children (weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth and a whole lotta yelling too), Seth found the phone and called his Dad.

Seth: Dad? You gotta come home.  I have a problem that you and me need to solve.
Dad: quietly listening
Seth: Mom is yelling and saying frickin and she's saying hell (in the background Mom is yelling and Amelia is crying)

I then realized what Seth was doing and grabbed the phone from him.  Jeremy told me what he said and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. 

I am so glad that I have this little guy to watch out for his little sisters, who isn't afraid to tell me when I'm not being nice, and who is willing to call his Dad when he needs him.

For him to have that much confidence tells me I must be doing something right.  Even if I do say "frickin" and "hell" from time to time.

It Bugs

Ok, we all have them, pet peeves.  Things that just make our skin crawl or make us want to scream and run for the hills.  I thought that I would be so kind as to share some of mine with you.  Some are rational, many are not...you've been warned.

1. Dirty windshield.  This makes me absolutely crazy.  If I am driving with you and your windshield is dirty, please clean it, please, please, please. If you know about my issue with this and make fun of me by having a dirty windshield, I can not be responsible for what might happen (like me reaching over to clean your window while you drive, don't test me).

2. Gum.  I hate gum.  I hate the smell, I hate the sound, I hate it.  If you chew gum and we are together, I won't say anything, I will be polite because I know some people really love their gum...just know I am dying on the inside.

3. Made up abbreviations.  When people make up abbreviations or shorten words to something completely stupid, yeah I hate that.

4. Interrupting my show I am engrossed in to ask me a question about said show.  If you wanted to watch it, you should have sat your butt down next to me, it is not my fault you were preoccupied...or maybe it was, so just wait for the commercial.

5. Cold Feet.  My feet are almost always cold, so cold in fact that my toes frequently go numb.  I really hate this.

6. Stupid girls at the cut counter at Joann's.

7. People at the grocery store that think they're helping when they try to talk to my children as they are throwing a fit.  Really??? Do you think my children are going to listen and obey a complete stranger and not their Mother??  Do you think I don't know what to do with them??  Puh-leeze people.

8. Music on blogs.  I know some people just love this, but really???  I am usually listening to something on my computer when I am checking blogs and it is SO annoying to have to find the pause button on the blog so I don't have to listen to whatever you want me to listen to.

Ok, so those are just a few of my pet peeves...what are yours?  I wonder how many we have in common?

by the way...I promise to write something of substance soon, very very soon.

Confessions of a Prairie Mama

1. I don't live on the Prairie.  I haven't in 6 years.
2. I don't always use cloth diapers, I use 'sposies at night time and if there is a sore bum that requires medicine.
3. I don't like to clean.  I like a clean house, I just don't like to do it.
4. I have a HUGE pile of laundry that needs to be folded.  It will take at least an episode of Glee to get it all done.
5. I let my kids watch PBS when I need some peace and quiet.
6. I absolutely adore Dr. Pepper.
7. I was once asked to stop breastfeeding at church and I (not so politely) declined.
8. I wish I lived in Arizona in the Winter...ok, that is not anything surprising to you all if you followed my blog last Winter.
9. I love Halloween and Christmas, but my favorite holiday of the year is my birthday.

10. I let Libby climb all over the computer desk when I'm trying to work, it's cool.
11. My sewing room is a lot messier than I would ever want to admit.
12. My mind is a bit like my sewing room.
13. I am a scatterbrain (see #12)
14. Sometimes I forget to eat lunch and then get sick.
15. that's all. the end.

Overheard at my House

Loralee: Can I use your bathroom?
Me: Yes, here is the toilet paper.  Seth took it all off the roll this morning because he needed the roll for an art project.
Loralee: BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

Things I never thought I would say and yet I do..a lot.

Finally, Some Answers.

I have hinted to some health issues I've been having.  We all know about my never-ending quest for sugar in all forms.  That was just one of my symptoms.  I have some bowel issues that I won't get into (you're welcome) and gas that makes my friends sure that I am rotting from the inside.  I am in constant abdominal pain, have headaches all the time, and am exhausted constantly.  Granted I have 3 children, very active children, but they don't cause my headaches and are only partially responsible for my exhaustion.

My darling Jeremy is always trying to fix things.  He is an engineer after all, that is what he does.  So, he has been searching for a way to help me over the last several years.  When he mentioned to me that I might be gluten intolerant, I couldn't imagine giving up my beloved bread.  Seriously, my favorite place to go eat is Great Harvest!  I love bread, I love baking and was terrified at the possibility of having to give it up.  So, I refused to think that was the problem and continued on in pain.

Then my dear friend, Shannon, emailed me telling me that she was recently diagnosed with Celiac Disease.  As she described her symptoms and the fact that after she was off gluten she no longer craved sugar (WHAT?!?!) I realized that maybe there was something to this.

So, I went off gluten for a week and a half.  I felt amazing.  Seriously, I had energy, was sleeping better (minus that whole baby waking up multiple times a night to feast on the all night Mommy diner), my headaches were gone and I did not NEED sweets...really, I didn't even want them.  Unheard of for me, or anyone in my family for that matter.

I called my doctor's office and let them know what was going on.  I was instructed to go back on gluten for 2 weeks and then they could test me for Celiac disease. 

So, back on gluten I went and again I felt run-down, bloated, gassy, in pain, headaches...yep, it was all back.

Monday was the magical day where I went to the doctor and he said, "I think we're on the right track here".  I was given the all clear to go off gluten again and feel like I am finally on the road to getting some answers.

I never go to the doctor for myself.  I have been living in pain for YEARS.  If this is all it takes to fix this I will be thrilled and will be kicking myself that I didn't do it sooner.

So, here I go on my gluten-free journey.  I am reading The Gluten Free Girl right now and love it.  Shauna James-Ahern is amazing, if you don't believe me, go check out her website.  She is going to help me make a gluten-free Thanksgiving thankyouverymuch.

Are any of you gluten-free?  Do you know anyone who is?  I would love to have more recipe ideas and will take any tips and advice you have to offer.  Who else is on this journey toward healing with me?

The JOYS of Parenting.

 This picture has NOTHING to do with this post except it is really funny and kind of how I felt at one point in the night...

I knew it would happen.  It has happened to almost every parent out there...and if it hasn't happened yet, it will.  You and your beloved are taking advantage of the children being asleep and decide to, ahem, you know, express your love for each other when you hear this;

"Mama? Why are you and Daddy nakey?"

Yes.  This happened to me us.

We co-sleep, so we navigate very carefully where and when we will be intimate.  I won't go into details of where said event takes place because some of you come to my house and I don't want you to be uncomfortable thinking "oh my gosh, this is where Kim and Jeremy do the DEED, ick!".  So, I'll just say this...it isn't in my bed usually.

Typically if a child wakes up, it is the baby.  She doesn't know what is going on because her eyes are shut tight with the crying and screaming and such.  So really it hasn't been a concern.

So, with all 3 children asleep, we decided to engage the launch sequence.  We get started and we hear it, Libby waking up.  Jeremy goes upstairs to check on her and I tweet this:

If that is as bad as it got, well, I wouldn't be blogging this because that happens all the time.

No it gets better.  Jeremy got Libby back to sleep and we were able to engage one more time.  This time we thought we were in the clear.  And then I saw it.  This short person in a nightgown with a mischievous smile on her face.  Our conversation then went like this:

Amelia: Mama? Why are you and Daddy nakey?
**at this point Jeremy jumps up throws the blanket over himself leaving me completely exposed..thanks babe**
I get up and pick her up and say;
"We're not baby, you're having a dream"
A: No I'm not, why are you nakey?
Me: Oh baby, you are asleep in your bed and you are having such a silly dream right now.

We go back and forth like this a few times and I get her settled into bed, shut the door and go back to my man.  He asks, is she really asleep?  Well, uh, no.  Because you see the problem is this...she wasn't feeling good that day and fell asleep at 5 pm.  So, after 5 1/2  hours of sleep, she was ready to wake up and play and TOTALLY had her wits about her and knew that she wasn't asleep.  Yeah, it was great.  So, I got dressed and went in there acting like it was the first time I'd been in there, you know gotta trick the sleepy 3 year old into thinking she was dreaming so I don't have to have the uncomfortable talk about "nakey hugs" that Mamas and Daddys sometimes do.

She eventually went back to sleep and our night ended very nicely with no more interruptions...until Libby threw up in our bed.

ah the life of a parent.

Random.

It's cold today.  Like, right now it is 25 degrees and will hopefully reach 42 by the end of the day.  That is cold folks.  However, I am reminded that in no time I will be thinking that 42 degrees is downright balmy.  Winters in Utah really kick my trash and leave me dreaming of warmer destinations...like Arizona.  Except that it gets up to eleventymillion degrees in the summer and I can't handle that either. blurg.

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Yesterday was a not so great day.  We found out some things that had been happening at Seth's school with another child.  It made me cry and hurt and want to keep my son home forever where I can protect him.  I am so glad he was brave and told us what was happening.  I am sad for this other little boy who obviously has something big going on with him.

That prompted a cookie making, hot chocolate and egg nog buying and eating kind of day.

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My serger is dying.  This would not be a big deal if I didn't use it everyday for my business.  But I do and it is essential.  I am going to go to the local sewing shops and try out and check out different sergers.  Do you all have any recommendations?  I don't have a ton to spend, although I would REALLY like to get this one, but seeing as how I can't find out how much it is, I doubt I will be able to.

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There is no school today and I am grateful.  Loralee is going to come over and have lunch.  The children and I are going to clean the playroom and I just might gorge myself on cookies.  How about you, what are your plans?  But really, what are your serger recommendations?  Because I really need a good one that won't cost an arm and a leg.

For Maddie

Birthdays are supposed to be happy days.  They are days to remember and celebrate life. They are days to watch our children gorge themselves on cake and ice cream and be excited about gifts and phone calls and time with Mom and Dad.  Birthdays are special and fun.

Except when it's a birthday for your child that has died.  Then it is just hard.  Especially that first birthday after your child is gone.  That really sucks.

Today is my friend Heather's, baby girl, Maddie's birthday.  She is 2 today.  She has been gone for 7 months 4 days.  Her Mama and Daddy will remember her today with video, pictures, and all the empty spots in their home.  They will laugh when they remember her being silly and cry when they think of what they've missed, what they miss now, and what they will miss in the future.


I am closing the comments today and ask that you please go on over and share your love and support with Heather today.  I know how hard those birthdays are, give her the love and support you always give me.

For Maddie's birthday, all sales of pillowcase dresses or repurposed dresses from my Etsy shop through next Wednesday, will be donated to Friends of Maddie.

Not To Be Outdone

Liberty is very fashion conscious.  She knows what looks good and doesn't.  When I put a barrette in her hair, she immediately shakes her head no and takes it out.  She loves her necklaces and shoes...oh don't get me started on her shoes.

So, when she saw that her buddy Ivy had pigtails she demanded that I give her piggies also.  She loves them. So much that she could barely stop moving long enough for me to snap a quick photo (or 12).  And really, there isn't much cuter than a baby with piggies.

And by the way, that baby, that cute cute cute one up there? She is 14 months old today. Holy cow, where does the time go?!?!

Indian Summer

How can I be inside cleaning, cooking, knitting, sewing, blogging when I can be outside with them, doing this?

 

Yes, I will enjoy these Indian Summer days.  The beautiful weather, the raking of leaves, the playing, playing, playing.  I will enjoy the dirty fingernails, the leaves in our hair, the smells, the feel of the sun and the breeze.  I will enjoy this because I know it will not last.  I know that shortly, much shorter than I want, this will be gone, we will be inside, dreaming of these days when we basked in the Indian Summer.

These Girls, my Life.

Today I am feeling a little lonely and quiet.  So, I am looking back at a better day, one when I was with friends and had these fabulous pictures taken.  I love them all because I am wearing my girls in the sling (not at the same time).  I love that I can wear not just my 14 month old, but also my 3 year old.  This makes my heart happy.

Photos by Jasmine


P.S.  If you haven't already, head on over to my review site and enter to win the Cheer Giveaway.  Today is the last day!!!

My Boy.

I've shared my talented little girls and now it is time to share with you the extreme talent of my darling son.  This boy makes me laugh so hard, here is one of the reasons why.

Welcome November

I am glad you're here.  I really LOVE October (my anniversary and Halloween make it FUN!), but you are one of my favorite months.  The cooler weather, shorter days, being able to start listening to Christmas music without too much teasing from my husband...those are nothing compared to the food.  Yes, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I can't wait!
So welcome!  Oh, and you can even snow this year.  I am ready!

Thank you.

Wow, I am just floored.  I am floored by the kindness of each and every one of you.  I was nervous about posting about Emma.  I realize that by writing about her, it will spark curiosity.  I realize the sense of entitlement that some hold about blogs and what they deserve to know.  I didn't think I had any readers who felt that way, and I am so very happy to see that I don't.

The outpouring of love from you all has moved me and, once again, reminded me of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful community surrounding me.

I love each of you, and I don't say these things lightly.  Thank you so very much.  I am very lucky indeed.