Full

1. Mother-in-law visiting
2. Super Hero Capes in the making
3. Ladybug Costume to make
4. Mystery project to work on
5. Taking dinner to all the teachers at Seth's school for Parent Teacher Conferences.
6. Planning a menu for a fabulous luncheon with the girls
7. First Parent Teacher Conference to attend.
8. Gym, gym, gym (because of all the cookies I'm eating)
9. Getting a big Blogiversary post together
10. Loving on my babies every chance I get.

This is what I'm up to this week. I am full. How about you?

Any Guesses?

Any guesses as to what I'm up to??

**Don't forget to enter the contest for 2 very sweet Snuggle Me board books here!

Hope

Snuggle-Me Stories Review and Giveaway!

I was recently given the opportunity to review 2 new books from Sandra Magasmen. Of course, you say book, I am going to want to review it. My children LOVE books and these are no exception! No sooner did they arrive on my doorstep than did my children take off with them, each claiming one for themselves. Seth owns the monkey now and Amelia has the bear. When Libby is lucky enough to sneak one of them away from the big kids, she is in heaven.

It's not just the toys though, the books are so sweet. My Little Monkey & Little Bear Hugs are the newest additions to Sandra Magsamen's award winning Snuggle-Me Stories series.
Featuring a small fleece blanket with an attached plush monkey and teddy bear, babies and loved ones will love to read and play along with the sweet rhyming story, which delivers heartfelt sentiments of love. With playful words and illustrations, these titles are sure to become a favorite for cozy shared lap time reading.


The Author, Sandra Magsamen, is an artist, mom, author of Living Artfully and creator of the Messages From the Heart brand. She designs gifts and ideas that encourage us to live with heart. Sandra Magsamen lives with her family in the Maryland town in which she grew up.

So, I told you my kids love the plush lovies that come with it and the stories, but what do I think? I think these stories are just so sweet. The sentiments, such as "you make me laugh all day and night" and "you're my precious gift sent from above" are more than just words, it is the thoughts and feelings of every parent.

The only part of the book that I didn't like was that the back page where the doll attaches is taller than the rest of the book. Makes it a little awkward to put away, but really? when it's a great book, I'll take it!

I want to give TWO lucky readers this prize pack!! How to enter you ask? Well, leave me a comment telling me your favorite kids book.

You can gain other entries by doing any of the following and leaving me a comment for each one.

1. Tweet it
2. Blog it
3. Link to this on your Facebook page

Contest will close on Wednesday October 7th at 8 pm MST. So, enter, tell your friends and win a great book set either for yourself or a friend!!!

Sisters

Click to make bigger

I look at these three pictures every day. They are the photos on my wall. One always stays the same while the other two have changed often. These three girls, my three girls, sisters. I just wish they could grow up together and laugh and fight and do all the things that sisters do.

The quote (in case you can't see it) says, Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. I love it. So very true. They each are so similar, yet so unique and special.

I am so very blessed to be each of their Mama.

Welcome Back Fall

Dear Fall,

On this, your first day of the year, I welcome you back. You are the time of year I have always loved. I have always reveled the crispness of your air, the refreshing feel of the cooler weather after your blazing hot sister Summer is over. While I will miss the long days of Summer and the fun that she brings to my family every year, I do love when you come knocking on my door. I so enjoy the harvest that you bring, the tomatoes, apples, pumpkins, squash...oh you are my friend.

I remember as a young girl I loved the sound and feel of crunching leaves (I still love this by the way) and the smell of people having fires in their fireplace. I love Halloween and I couldn't have Halloween without you my darling Fall.

I adore your colors; reds, oranges, browns, yellows -- they just make me so happy. I love having an excuse to bake pumpkin bread and cookies, make soups, wear sweaters, jeans and fun boots. I love waking up in the morning to a cool house and keeping warm in my cozy bed. And of course the knitter in me loves cozying up with a good project, the feel of soft wool between my fingers...well that just makes me oh so happy.

I revel in the bike rides in your beautiful weather. I love what you do to my Mountains and, yes again with the colors, the COLORS that I can witness. It is just beautiful.

I have a secret though. I don't like your mean brother Winter. He comes in on your heels and often just pushes you out of the picture when no one is ready to see you go. He is pushy and territorial and I just don't like him.

So, I have a request of you. Could you grow a pair this year and stand up to Winter? Tell him to BACK OFF until it is his time in December? Also, tell him to stop being such a bully of Spring. She wants to come in March and he just lingers through MAY! Come on Winter, seriously??? Stop being so rude. Maybe if he just won't listen, strike up a compromise. He can snow and winter all he wants in the Mountains (for the skiers and snowboarders) and you can rule down here in the valley. I think it's a fair compromise, don't you?

So my darling Fall. Know that I love you. I am happy to see you here. I just want you to stay for as long as possible. Because really, your brother Winter blows and I don't like him.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kim

Change, it's Time.

Every season it happens. As I pack up the seasons clothing and get ready for a new season I think to myself "next time I put this on it is not going to fit, I will have lost so much weight and I will look amazing".

Then I do the same thing I always do. I eat. I eat sugar and sweets and carbs and nothing changes.

I am in desperate need of change. I am tired of being the same old same old. I know I can look and feel better, so why don't I? I can see in my head what I want and can look like. I know what it takes so why don't I just do it?

I am tired of beating myself up about this. I am tired of thinking of food as my constant enemy. I am tired of telling myself everyday, "Today is going to be the day I start this. Today I will eat only healthy foods, things that are good for my body, today is the day". I say this everyday and within HOURS people, HOURS I have shot myself in the foot and once I eat that piece of bread or oreo or whatever it is there is no turning back.

I need to make a change. I need to change the way my mind works about food. I want to be healthy and strong. I want that for my children. But the thing is, I am not afraid of death. I am not scared of dying. It doesn't matter that I have 3 beautiful children here and an awesome husband. I love them so much and want to be with them, but I know they'd be ok if anything happened to me. I am not afraid of dying...it feels like I'm more afraid of living.

I have failed at so many things in my life and feel that I am just failing at this. At this humongous thing that is in my thoughts all.the.time. I don't talk about it around my children, I don't want them to grow up with the food issues I have. But, what am I teaching them without saying a word? What am I teaching them by making cookies, brownies, zucchini bread, chocolate chip pancakes, buying oreos, ice cream, etc. etc. etc. What am I teaching them???

I am really tired of this battle and I just don't know what to do about it. I know I want to change. I joined a gym 2 weeks ago even. I just want to lose this weight. I want to feel better and have more energy for my children. I want to look better and feel more attractive. I look at so many Moms, at the park or at school, who are SO THIN and I want to run up to them and ask, HOW?!?! How did you get this way? How can I? Who will teach me?

This has really turned out to be diarrhea of the mouth, er fingers, but I needed to get it all out. I needed to tell you all that I am struggling. It's not in a way that I typically talk about. You're used to reading my struggles with missing Emma, or with my crazy children...but this is a struggle that is so deep inside of me and one that I battle every day of my life.

It's time for change, I just don't know how to do it. Any suggestions? Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do? What works and what doesn't?

Harvest

Isn't it beautiful? These, together with the peaches and peach jam Jeremy and I canned last night, will be my bright warm spots of sun in January. Please remind me of this.

Glimpses

Last night as I was cleaning up children, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Is it strange I didn't recognize that woman?

Apron from Sassy Aprons

That woman
the one that wipes noses, tears and bums all day long
the one that cries and hurts and screams
the one whose patience is tested more than she ever dreamed possible.
Who is that woman?
The one that prays for strength and
the wisdom on how to be the best Mother to her children
the one that pushes her children to do their best in everything...
who is she?

Whose eyes are those?
The eyes that have seen birth, death, life.
Those eyes that have small beginnings of wrinkles,
the eyes that look through rose colored spectacles,
who see what her children can become...
what she can become.

Whose hands are those?
Those hands that have done so much.
The hands that helped others to understand the world around them
that write her deepest thoughts and feelings
that knead bread
can food
push swings
knit, sew, cook, clean
hold other hands.
Those hands that feel each baby kick
help to bring 4 beautiful souls into the world.

What about that body?
Yes, that body,
saggy, flabby, tired, worn...
strong, powerful, nourishing, amazing.
Whose body is that?
That body that has grown, birthed and nourished 4 beautiful babies.
That body that is so loved by a wonderful man.
That body that walks a sweet boy to and from school
gives hugs
is a soft place to land
that gives the perfect snuggles
that sleeps curled up to the babies...

Whose heart is that?
The one that is so prominently worn on her sleeve?
The one that carries dreams from a different life
the one that has a hole in it etched with a name
the heart that breaks and mends and grows daily
the heart that has multiplied with each child born?

As I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, these thoughts went racing through my mind in an instant. Who is that woman?

I am so proud to say, it is me.

For better or worse, it is me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Men.

I really love my husband. A lot. Really, I promise. It's just that sometimes...well, sometimes he drives me a little batty.

There is an awesome playgound being built here in Logan. I am really excited about it. It is being built entirely by volunteers, so Jer went to help last night. That was no problem, I was ready for that. I had a meeting with some ladies from my church at 5:30, so we just moved it to my house. I had dinner simmering on the stove, the children playing peacefully and was ready for the meeting. That was when they all decided at the same time that being away from Mom just was not acceptable.

After cajoling, bribing, and threatening didn't work with the older two, I locked them in the basement. Don't look at me like that, it's where all their toys are, they love playing downstairs and it was just going to be for 30 minutes.

Anyway, so I am holding Libby on my way back from locking the basement door and she did it. She threw up everywhere. Oh yes, it was lovely. I thought it was a one time thing, so I cleaned her up and went back to my meeting. She then crawled away and was playing. When she came back to me and crawled on my lap I smelled it. She had done it again, now I got to try to figure out where it was.

I cleaned up another vomitous mess, finished my meeting, got the kids fed (got thrown up on 2 more times), gave baths and then Jeremy called to tell me he was coming home. THANK YOU!

So, Jer came home and got the older two to bed while I took care of the baby. All sounds good so far right? He is super helpful, I am not disputing this fact at all. He really does SO much around here and I am very lucky I know.

It's just...well, you'll see.

So, fast forward to 1:30 am. I am awaken by my darling baby throwing up all over herself, me and my bed. Jeremy got up and while I cleaned up myself and the babe, he changed the sheets on the bed.

We all settled into our freshly sheeted bed when he turns to me and says, "Those peaches won't make it until Saturday, they need to be canned".

Did you see it? Did you see my brain start working in overtime trying to figure out how I will get 3 bushels of peaches and a boat load of tomatoes processed the next day while dealing with a sick baby, a 3 year old who thinks she is Annie and a 5 year old who I will have to take and pick up from school? Did you see it?

Yes. I love him, but really???? That was not the time to tell me. Now, in his defense he says he'll help me do the peaches tonight after the kids are in bed. He has never done peaches so he doesn't realize just how long it takes. So, after I am done writing this post, I am strapping the baby to my back, praying she is done throwing up and am going to start doing peaches. Where is my Mom when I need her??

My Talented Little Girls

Seriously, I am so lucky to have these two girls in my life. I can't wait to see what they do with these extraordinary talents.

New Name Winner

Ok, I love you all. Even though there were only 22 comments (COME ON!), I got some great feedback from you.

I have decided to keep my Prairie Mama name. You all are right, it is who I am. I am going to add a little tag line, I'll let you know when I get that figured out ;)

Now for the winner. I did the lovely random number generator on random.org and the winner is....

#5, Lolli, she said:

PS--Personally, I think Displaced Prairie Mama would be fun. That way, people would still recognize who you are.

So....I will let you all know when the changes come..wait, you'll see :) I SO appreciate your input, y'all ROCK!!!

And Lolli...let me know if you want something handmade, or whats and your address and I will get it in the mail ASAP!

Not Just Another Day

I got to work early to interpret a parent/teacher conference. My upcoming nuptiuals on my mind, I walked down the red carpeted hallway. A student came up to me and said, "the World Trade Center has been hit by an airplane". I just looked at him in disbelief, surely he is misunderstood. I went into the classroom of one of my friends and she told me what was happening. An airplane had flown into one of the World Trade Center buildings. There must have been a mistake on the pilot's part, there must be a reasonable explanation for this. Terrorism never crossed my mind. Not until the second plane hit the second tower did I realize how many lives were changed forever.

Staggering through the day, hearing more between classes, trying to protect these young elementary school children from what is going on, it felt like I was floating in a terrible nightmare.

I drove home and couldn't wait to be with my love. I went to give blood, knowing that it would be needed, only to be told that they didn't have any room for anyone else.

Jeremy and I held each other that night, watched the news, I couldn't turn it off, I couldn't stop watching and praying for those families.

Eight years later, I know more about grief than I did then. I know more about what it is like to have something so terrible happen in your life, something that stays with you and despite everyone else going back to their lives yours is never the same. My heart aches for the orphaned children, widowed spouses, parents who lost their children...and I want them to know this.

Know that September 11 is not just another day for me. I remember. I cry for you. My heart aches for you. I will never forget and will be sure to teach my children about those who you love. I will not forget, I promise.

Feel Good :: Knitting with Land's End

You all know I love to knit and I love me some yarn. Well, Lands End has started a fabulous new campaign. Starting September 1st, for every Lands' End Feel Good Sweater purchase, they will donate signature Feel Good yarn to One Heart Foundation's Warming Families, a nationwide knitting charity. Awesome right??

Lands End has teamed up with Vickie Howell, of DIY's Knitty Gritty to come up with 2 hat patterns. They are asking for scores of volunteer knitters to help knit these hats for charity. Land's End expects to donate thousands of pounds of yarn to Warming Families chapters and it is expected that 25,000 hats will be knit to warm those in need this winter.

Pretty amazing isn't it? So, if knitting isn't your gig, go buy a sweater. It is ridiculously soft and warm. While it is still very warm where most of us live, fall is quickly approaching and before we know it, we will all be buried in snow, ice and cold. While we have warm homes and clothes there are so many that don't. Here is a fun and easy way to have a small part in making someone's life a little warmer.

I plan on knitting some hats, will you join me? What? You don't knit?? Then go buy a sweater!!!

Birthday Recap

Let me just say it was GREAT! My darling girl woke up nursing and worked on getting some teeth all day. Her two bottom teeth are thisclose to popping through, so she is super happy right now.

We gave her one gift this year, her own little baby that I made for her. Please welcome Lola (or Kate, depending on who you ask)



She really had a great day and thoroughly enjoyed her cake...until she realized she was so tired that she couldn't see straight and started to lose it. Thanks for all the birthday wishes from my dear friends!!!

Happy Birthday Baby

My Dearest Liberty,

I can not believe that only one year ago you came into our lives. I was sure when I was pregnant with you that I was going to have a boy. When you were born, I did a true double take and couldn't believe I had another girl.


My labor with you was so difficult. I was not prepared, at all, for you. But I am so grateful for you. I am learning so much about myself and becoming a better Mom, because of you.

Now a little about what you do...

Sing, dance, play the piano -- all three at the same time
Spider crawl, on all 4's
Stand up in the middle of the room by yourself
Cruise around all the furniture
Go up and down the stairs with ease
NURSE, NURSE, NURSE
Have NO teeth
Eat everything we do
Sign and say 'baby'
Say 'bye' and wave
Play with your brother and sister
Say and sign 'Mama and Daddy'
Hate the stroller
Love the Sling and Ergo
Say and sign 'kitty'
Give the biggest kisses and smiles to everyone...
oh and SO much more

You are such a wonderful little girl. If only you'd sleep a little more...but really, it's ok. I am so glad to have you here, to watch you grow and to be my sweet baby girl. You have the sweetest disposition, smile and personality. You will give anyone and everyone smiles, and truly love life. I am just so lucky to be your Mama and get to help you learn and grow.

Happy Birthday baby. I can't wait to see what you become this next year.

Love,
Mama

To read Liberty's amazing birth story, go here. To see her incredible homebirth, go here

Then and Now

Then

Now

Then

Now

Looking through pictures of my kiddos from 2 years ago this month...it blows my mind how much they've grown and changed. I am just so lucky to be their Mama.

Seriously?!?!

I just got a phone call from my son's school. It was an important message, I am thinking something like there was a flood or a fire at the school this weekend that I didn't know about. Maybe someone was critically ill and they were rallying the troops.

No, it was to remind us to fill out and sign the permission slips for our children to watch the President of our Country speak to them about staying in school. Seriously people?? SERIOUSLY?!?!

This irritates me to no end. I don't care who you voted for, I don't care what you believe about our President, show some respect please.

I know that growing up I saw speeches by President Regan and President Bush (the first one). My parents did not have to sign a permission slip for me to listen to the leader of our country. It was a given that I would watch it.

Why then, if these children don't have a signed permission slip, can they not watch it? What will the meaningful activity be that they have planned for them?

What has our country come to that we have so little respect for the President that there needs to be a permission slip signed, like for sex ed?

I am very saddened and disappointed. What has become of our nation?

**by the way, it is being shown at 10 am (MST) and since Seth is in afternoon Kindergarten he will not be at school to watch it. But guess what? We will be watching it on C-SPAN, at home, so he can see what our President has to say to him.

***Just in case you don't read the comments, I wanted to put Azucar's comment here on the main page, yep I think it's that important.
I hope all of you whose schools are backing out of the speech call the principals and the superintendents, we can't let reason, logic, and civility die.

Last Year

One year ago this weekend I looked like this,

Did this,

And this...

and had no IDEA that I would be holding this so soon...

A Little Help From My Friends

Last Winter, I was contemplating changing my blog name. You see, I do not live on the Prairie anymore. I needed something fun and clever for the Gardener's Market when I was selling my dresses and that was what Jeremy and I came up with. But it really doesn't fit me anymore. I pushed the thought out of my mind and then found myself at Blogher in July.

I met so many people and every time someone would look at my name tag and we would then have this conversation;
"Prairie Mama? Where on the Prairie do you live?"
"Oh, haha, no I don't live on the Prairie anymore, I live in Logan, UT".
"oh"
and they would walk away very disappointed. Or, they would say, "Utah? That's not the prairie!" and I would reply with something witty like, "yeah, I know, that's where I'm from. I guess maybe I should be displaced prairie mama or something".

It was awkward to say the least. So, in the last little while since I've been home I have again felt the need to change my name.

I am not clever though. Really, I'm not. I'm not funny and not clever...I leave that to all the other awesome bloggers out there.

I need some help. So, I am holding a contest. Help me find my name!

Here are the rules (what? You thought you'd get away with no rules?? HA!)

1. Enter as many names as you like
2. My final new name may or may not come from the list generated by this contest
3. Tweet or blog about this for an extra entry
4. I will choose a winner at random on Friday, September 11.
.
That's it...right??

Oh, you want to know what you win?? I will put together a prize package for the winner consisting of, but not limited to:
$10 Land's End gift card
Oreos, Jr. Mints and Popcorn (3 of my loves)
If you knit -- yarn
If you sew -- fabric
If you do neither -- something to decorate for fall with.

Sound good? AWESOME! So, help a sister out. I figure there are 108 followers on my blog (as of this moment on Sunday afternoon), so I expect at least 108 comments on this post! ;)

Ready? Set? GO!

Ladybug Moments

Today two of my fellow Mamas in Grief are struggling a lot. They are at big milestones and those milestone days are so very hard. If you have a minute (which I am sure you do since you are here visiting me) go over and lend a bit of support for them.

Sometimes there are things that happen that make me think that Emma is close by. She is our Emmabug, there is even a ladybug on the back of her headstone. So, when a ladybug lands on me or is somewhere that I know it shouldn't be, I just know that Emma is sending it to tell me she loves me.

On the morning of the 29th, I woke up to find two ladybugs on the outside of my kitchen window. There are no aphids on my kitchen window, so there really was no reason for them to be there. Except they were and it made me feel a little bit better.



Sometimes she does that. When I just feel like I can't go on one more second, one of her songs will come on the radio, Seth or Amelia will say something about her, Libby will say what sounds like Emma...always something to help me remember that she is still part of our family, despite the fact that she isn't here right now.

So, while it hurts -- A LOT -- I look for those ladybug moments. The ones where I swear if I turned around I would see her standing there, or playing with her siblings. Those moments where I feel her so close I feel like I can touch her.

It's those moments that makes my grief bearable. It's those moments that make the milestone days, the ones I dread and hate when they come, it makes those days feel like I won't die and that I won't be swallowed up in this grief.

And those ladybug moments are the ones I live for. They are the ones that keep me here, sane and alive.

Don't Stop Believin (or why I love Glee)

Yes, I love Glee. Last Spring I sat in my room, nursing my babe to sleep, and I saw it. I saw a glimpse of my youth. But wait, that wasn't me on the stage singing "On My Own", no that was the cute girl from Glee my new favorite show.

When I was in 7th grade I had a music teacher who saw something in me. She saw someone who loved to sing and had a small (ahem) flair for the dramatic. She told me about this magical place in ElDorado, Kansas where Jr. High and High School show choirs would converge every summer. This magical place called the American Show and Jazz Choir Camp, ASJCC.

She talked to my folks, I saved money, they saved money and I was good to go. Mrs. Morris and I, armed with plenty of Michael Bolton and Kenny G tapes made the trek to Butler County Community College for a week of fun.

Really, fun doesn't even begin to describe it. I was the only one from my school who went, but that didn't matter. The other schools would just welcome me into their little tribes. We stayed in the dorms, I went to classes, developed new vocal skills, made friends, fell in love (you know that love that you fall into when you're 13 and 14), and learned something really important -- this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I loved performing. I loved singing. You put them both together?? It was a match made in Heaven.

I learned that I love to sing Jazz and many of those songs are perfect for my smoky alto voice. I learned that I shouldn't try to be something I'm not (a soprano) and that my voice was good the way it was. I learned that I really should pursue my talent of writing music. I learned that a boy with curly brown hair and electric blue eyes would stir feelings in me I never knew possible. I learned that I could go away for a week and stay true to who I was, and be accepted for that.

I learned so much about myself, but at the time all I worried about was the boys, the music, the dancing, the performances and being the best I could be.

Tonight, as we were watching Glee, Jeremy said, "I know why you love this show so much".
"Oh really? You do?? Enlighten me".
"Because that is what you wished High School was really like, what you wish your high school experience had been like".

That might be true a little bit, but really, I love it because it taps into that part of me that I had forgotten about. The part that could listen to a good song and picture leading a show choir in singing it. The part of me that used to listen to Barry Manilow and see in my mind how my show choir, the one that I would be the director of, would perform it. I watch it and I feel that immense joy and excitement of performing for others. I can feel the exhilaration that comes when you know you did an amazing job and everyone else in the room knows it too.

I love this show because it is what I always wanted to do. It is music, it is acting, it is life. And I love it.

She is just TOO CUTE!

I can hardly believe this sweet and sassy little girl will be ONE next week! Someone pinch me please, I must be dreaming.