Under Construction

I am under construction around these parts. As you can see, I have a bright new design. I am working on simplifying my blog and make it much cleaner and easier on the eyes. So, stay tuned for my big changes.

Oh, the reason why it's taking so long for me to get it all done?? Um...I have 3 kids. 'Nuff said.

Sometimes You Just Need a Hat

I know I do! We all have bad hair days don't we? I love me some cute sassy hats for those days. It's my little way of fighting the frump! So, I was THRILLED when I saw this awesome giveaway over on Grosgrain. Check it out. What a cute company. If I don't win, I may have to buy a couple of these babies anyway! :)

Swanki Hats GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Yesterday

• I worked on a skirt. I got the zipper in and realized that it is going to be too small. While it is good motivation to lose weight, I really wanted to wear it now and am just frustrated.

• Jeremy took the afternoon off and got the garden tilled and lawn mowed. I didn't get to plant my carrots, onions and peas though. It's going to get cold this weekend, so I need to get it done.

• The kids watched our Emma movies all day yesterday. It made me miss her more than ever. They talked about what they will do when they get to play with her again. Ouch.

• I'm glad yesterday is over and I have a new day to play with my babes, go check out our CSA farm and watch Seth graduate from preschool. Today will be better.
  

iShuffle through my life.

My buddy, Heather of the EO, tagged me for this fun Meme. I don't normally do meme's, but this one is fun. Plus, it's music. I love me some music!

Instructions:
1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN AS YOUR ANSWER, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag some Moms you admire who could use a laugh and a song.

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HOW DID YOU BECOME A MOM?
Tears on My Heart - Enya

WHAT DID YOU THINK THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BABY?
Lincoln Avenue - Train

WHAT DID YOU DO THE FIRST MORNING AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT?
Love Is Spoken Here - LDS Children's Song Book Collection. This one just makes me laugh. Loud.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN SOMEONE COLORS ON THE WALL?
The Glory of Love - Keb' Mo'

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A TODDLER’S BODILY FLUID ISSUES?
Kentucky Mine - Diamond Rio

IF SOMEONE SAYS “Can I have a snack?” YOU SAY?
Walkin' Away - Diamond Rio

IF SOMEONE LEAVES THEIR STUFF ON THE FLOOR, YOU SAY?
I'll Be Alright Without You - Journey

IF SOMEONE ISN’T SICK TODAY, YOU SAY?
Ebudae - Enya

HOW DO YOUR KIDS ENJOY YOUR COOKING?
Drugs or Jesus - Tim McGraw

HOW DID YOUR KIDS DO IN SCHOOL TODAY?
Ave Maria - Harry Connick Jr.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHILE SITTING IN CARPOOL LINE?
River - Natalie Merchant (while I do think about my Jr. year of high school and the day River Phoenix died from time to time...I don't think of it daily, nor in the carpool lane...well, cause I don't sit in a carpool lane probably ;) )

HOMESCHOOLERS, WHAT IS THE FIRST SUBJECT TAUGHT OF THE DAY?
My Love, My Life - Abba

WHAT DO YOUR KIDS WANT TO BE WHEN THEY GROW UP?
We are Okay - Joshua Radin (awesome!)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY AS A MOM?
Crazy Man Michael - Natalie Merchant (yep, pretty close to reality!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE AS A MOM?
Hold Out Your Hand - Nickleback

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO AS A MOM?
Carrying Cathy - Ben Folds (right now it would be Carrying Liberty!)

HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE REALLY A MOM?
Where The Green Grass Grows - Tim McGraw (nice)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MOST OFTEN AS A MOM?
Family Night - LDS Children's Songbook (not too far off really)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY AS A MOM?
To Make You Feel my Love - Trisha Yearwood (awwww)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET AS A MOM?
If I Should Fall Behind - Faith Hill

WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE AS A MOM?
Between Us - Harry Connick Jr.

WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Eat and Drink - Rachel DeAzevedo Coleman

WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT MAKES YOU CRY?
People Get Ready - Seal

WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica

HOW DO YOUR KIDS DESCRIBE YOU AS THEIR MOM?
Save Me - Queen

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I Won't Last a Day Without You - Carpenters

WHAT WILL YOUR MOM OF THE YEAR CERTIFICATE SAY?
Try Not to Breathe - R.E.M.

Ok, totally fun...so now I get to tag some fun blogging friends!

I choose -
Steph - Adventures in Babywearing
Kristal - Bug Loving Mama
Lolli - Life is Sweet
Beth - I Should be Folding Laundry
Erin - School Teacher by Day, Superhero by Night

Breaking Out

In the Winter, I never believe that Spring will come. In the midst of the cold, gray days and the long dark nights, it seems that the light will never shine. We are buried in snow, slipping on ice, cold and wet constantly. We stay inside, playing games, drawing pictures, reading books and all the while dreaming, dreaming of the days when we can break out of this brick cocoon and be free -- be free to run outside, free to wear as little clothing as possible, free to let our toes sink in the warm wet earth.



In my neck of the woods, Winter can be very brutal and last for a very long time. When the snow finally melts, it is amazing to watch the city come back to life. It seems that everyone is as happy to see the sun as I am. Children playing at the park, families on walks and bike rides, the sounds of people laughing and playing, birds singing, the smells of grass being cut, dirt on your hands...it is spring.



The first weekend when the weather is really warm is always magical for me. This last weekend was perfect. The smell of fresh compost on the garden, planting flower seeds with my boy, assuring my girl that the bugs won't get her, and watching the littlest one learn to crawl on the grass. Truly magical and wonderful. It is my favorite time of year. Breaking out of the cold of Winter and into the warm sunshine of Spring. The promise of more sun, bare feet, fresh vegetables and fruit from the garden, flowers to brighten my spirits...this is what it is all about.

.

Sweet Prayers

"Mama? Will you help me say my prayers?"

How can I say no to that? "Of course Bubs."

"Dear Heavenly Father, I thank thee for my dresser".







looks at me for help

"what else are you thankful for?"

"I thank the for my bed. I thank thee for all of my pajamas. I thank thee for Christmas. Please help me to have good dreams about Jesus"

All the while I am thinking, "Thank thee for this. Thank thee for this moment."

I love this kid. I love him so much it hurts.

Calling All Loganites!

Y'all know I love my sugar right? Well, there is a local pastry shop here, Sweetly Divine. Jeremy and I discovered this little slice of heaven shortly after we moved here and have gone there on every date and special occasion since. We also get our parents to take us whenever they come to visit.

Recently, this great little family owned joint has come upon some hard times. They have lowered their prices and made the desserts a wee bit smaller. All trying to get more business. I have heard many local radio spots for them also. I know that they are trying.

Jeremy called me in a panic today letting me know that Sweetly Divine is close to closing up shop for good. They need business to increase exponentially in the next few months or, like so many other small businesses, they will be gone.

So please, go check them out. I wish I had a photo of their goods, but I don't. You'll just have to trust me that everything there is fantastic. They have sandwiches, soups, tea, and of course, lovely pastries.

Sweetly Divine

1309 N Main, Suite 90
Logan, UT

Phone: (435) 787-1860

Do I Really Need a Title?

I really can't think of anything clever for a title. You know those days, when all of your creative energy has been spent somewhere else? That's me, today.

I have so much to tell you, so many fun things we've been doing, but I just don't have the time.

We went to the farm last Friday and had a fantastic time. I have pictures, I will share, I promise. The beauty of the farm, the baby animals and the wonder on my children's faces are just too much not to share.

We had a fabulous Easter, I hope you all did too. The children all got new duds, and looked stunning. Seth got his first little suit and the girls got new dresses.

Click to make the collage bigger, you'll be glad you did. My kids are not only cute, but funny as well. These were taken right after church, Amelia was exhausted, Libby was only interested in eating grass, and Seth was just being plain silly. It was great.

I started a skirt for myself on Saturday, but with Liberty not napping well (thanks teeth), I only got it cut out. So, I didn't get to wear it on Easter. I finished it this morning. A friend came over and helped me do my first ever zipper and I love it. I went to TJ Maxx and got a great shirt to wear with it and I am just happy as a clam. I still need to hem it, but that can't keep me from showing it to you!


So that's what has been going on in these parts. Sewing, girls with coughs, one getting her first teeth and learning how to crawl, lots of tantrums by a 4 and 2 year old and plenty of laughs, hugs and giggles to make up for anything not so fun.

Gratitude Sunday :: Easter Edition

Today, as I sit here nursing my babe, I have so much to be grateful for. This morning we were laying in bed with the 3 hooligans. Seth was bugging Jeremy and he was getting irritated with him. I laid there and said, "Hey Jer? How much would you give to have Emma doing that right now?". He grabbed Seth and snuggled him. Sometimes that is all it takes. All it takes to turn our thinking around and realize again how blessed and lucky we are.

Easter is always a very special day in our house. We don't do the Easter Bunny anymore because we didn't like how it took over Easter. Today, we think about our Savior and all He did for us. We think about how so many years ago, he was Resurrected. We think about how, because of the Atonement and Resurrection we will be with Emma again. We think about how blessed and lucky we are to have an eternal family.

Today, I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He died for all of us. I know that He lives. I know that through Him, we can each return to live with our Father in Heaven and our families forever. I know that families are forever and that I will see my sweet girl again someday.

I add my testimony to the numerous given that He LIVES. Because of this day so many years ago, we will all live.

Happy Easter my friends.

The Club No One Wants to Join

You all know I am a member of a club. There are way too many members of this club. It's the club that no one wants to join. This week we got a new member. Heather and her husband Mike lost their dear Maddie very unexpectedly on April 7th. I read about it the day it happened and just cried. It has taken me a couple days to be able to post about it here.


Please pray for them. Pray for peace in their hearts. Pray that their empty arms will be comforted. Pray that throughout the next...oh forever...they will feel their sweet Maddie near them.

My heart is aching for them. I know the pain, the anguish, the questions, the sound of silence in your home, the empty arms, the physical and emotional pain, the overwhelming grief. Continue to pray for them and don't forget Miss Maddie.

One Step Forward...

Fifteen steps back. That is what our potty training journey is like right now. Have you heard that girls are easier to teach to use the toilet than boys? Well, my daughter is the exception to the rule. Seth was SO easy. He decided one day he wanted to wear underwear and hasn't looked back since. He was dry for naps and in the morning within 1 week after wearing underwear.

Amelia...well, she is another story and I am really frustrated. She was doing so good. Wearing underwear, staying dry (mostly) and well, being done with diapers. In the last week though, she has totally regressed. Today she is wearing diapers again. I just can't go out anywhere with her in underwear. She peed on the floor of the toy store yesterday. She wet herself 3 times yesterday. She's in a diaper today. I told her if she could keep it dry she could wear underwear. She's already peed in the diaper.

I really don't want to have her in diapers, but I also can't be cleaning up pee all day. I don't like Pull-ups because she thinks they are just like a diaper.

HELP! Has anyone else had this happen? What do I do? Should I just let her wear diapers and when she's ready to wear underwear again let her? The thing is, she gets terrible diaper rashes when she wears diapers. And...well, it makes me cranky. I hate that she is in diapers. She wants to be a big girl, but just won't go sit on the toilet. Luckily she isn't pooping in her diapers. Of course, now that I write that and put it out to the Universe, she will start.

Motherhood::2

In continuation with my Mothers Who Know theme, today I write about something that is very dear to my heart; Mothers who know are nurturers.

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.⁵ To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.

Mothers who know are nurturers. I think that we often just assume that this means we love on our babes, take care of them and are sure they are safe, happy and loved. This is what I always thought. Until this talk helped me to think of it in a different light.

We all know the old adage, If Mama isn't happy, then no one is happy. What makes us happy and sane? What helps us to breathe easier? For me, it is a clean house.

When I was young we had a chore chart, much like the one that Amanda of Soule Mama just introduced in her home. It was a large felt board with birds (I believe owls, my Mom LOVED owls) and each one was a pocket. We would get a card out of our pocket every Saturday morning to see what we got to do to help around the house.

I never much cared if my room was messy or not. I didn't care if the house was messy or not, I knew that someone would clean it (the house, not my room) so I didn't care.

Now, I care. I have found that when my house is a mess, so am I. I have a much harder time focusing on the nurturing I want and need to do of my little family. When things are in disarray in my home, you can bet they are in disarray in my mind and heart. When my home is cluttered and disorganized, so is my life. There is more yelling, more tears, more heartbreak for all of us.

Another important part of nurturing is nurturing spiritual growth in our little ones. When we give birth, we work with God to bring His Spirit children to earth. It is our responsibility as Mothers, regardless of your religion or spiritual beliefs, to teach them about Him. To teach our children how to return to live with their Father in Heaven someday. Teaching them to pray, to talk to God is so important. Teaching them that no problem is ever too big for the Lord, that they can always pray; this is what it is about. We teach our children temporal self reliance, but how often to we concentrate on the spiritual aspect?

Again, I don't think it matters what religion you are, most of us believe in God, or some Higher Power. Teaching our children that they have someone else they can turn to, someone else to help them along this difficult road of life is essential.

I believe that I am writing this today more for me than I am for you. I opened up this article by Julie B. Beck and this was the paragraph that really stood out to me. I haven't been keeping my house the way I want to. I haven't been praying with my children the way I should. And it has really been showing. We have had more fighting, tears, frustration and sadness in our home the last couple of months.

I am determined that as the sun is shining brighter, to make my home do the same. I am going to make a Family Responsibility Board. We are all in this together, and I don't want to short change my children by not teaching them the value of helping around the house. I want to truly nurture my children and be a Mother who knows.

I am no Wuss

But man alive do I hurt. Over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, we are Shredding. Yes, you heard me right, shredding. That is what it feels like too. I am shredding my muscles...but really I think it's supposed to be that I am shredding the fat. Man alive, it hurts.

Jeremy and I started on Monday night. We get the kids to bed and then it's time to SHRED. It sounds easy enough. 20 Minutes. No biggie, right? You do 3 circuits that consist of 3 minutes strength, 2 minutes cardio and 1 minute abs. No big deal, sounds relatively easy. HA! That's what they want you to think. But really Jillian Michaels is the DEVIL. It is hard. Even my skinny fit husband is having to work really hard with this.

But, it is SO worth it. I will be fit and not feel like a big blob at the pool with my kids this summer. Jillian is a bit crazy, but WAY motivating. She makes me laugh while I am working out and reminds me that the abs that she and the other girls have didn't come for free. So, I keep working.

I remind myself that I have birthed 4 children. 3 of them at home. I can do this. I might be walking like Frankenstein today, but it will get better I am sure. If it doesn't, then I will be a very fit girl in a wheelchair.

Healthy is GOOD?!?!

YES! I have had a few requests for my Green Smoothie recipe, so here it is.

4 oz. frozen spinach
2 C. frozen fruit (I get the mixed bag at Sam's that has peaches, mangoes, strawberries and pineapple, but any frozen fruit will work)
1 T. flax meal
about 2 C. HOT water (you want hot water or your smoothie will be really hard to blend)
1 ripe banana

Put all of your ingrediants in the blender and let it rip. We love these. We have a big blender, so we actually double this recipe every day.

And...for my nighttime snack. This is something I eat almost every night. They are SO good and SO addictive. Good thing they're so good for you!

Roasted Chickpeas

2 cans chickpeas drained and rinsed (i get the S&W low sodium ones, but the Bush brand is also good)
Curry
Chili Powder
Garlic Powder
Olive Oil

Preheat oven to 425.
Drain and rinse your chickpeas. Place them on a towel on top of a baking sheet (I use a big cookie sheet). Dry them and then take the towel away. Lightly spray with olive oil.
Put in oven and cook for about 30-45 min. Stir them every 15 minutes and rotate the baking sheet.
When they are crispy, take them out put them in a bowl and add 2 t. curry, a dash of garlic powder and a pinch of chili powder. If you want them more spicy, add more chili.

Enjoy!

Sometimes it just hurts.

Liberty is so small that she can wear most of Emma's clothes. This is bittersweet. Sometimes it makes my heart ache so much that I think it will burst. Other times, I just smile as I remember the times that my other sweet baby girl wore it. I took these pictures of Libby on Thursday. I can not believe how much she looks like her big sissy.

I think that Seth can sense when I am really missing Emma. I didn't say anything about it the other day, was just thinking it and he came up, gave me a hug, and said, "Mama, I really miss Emma". Somedays it is just so hard. Others, I can breathe a lot easier. Just goes to show it never ends. People who told me that I just needed to get over it, or give it time it won't hurt anymore, they just don't understand the magnitude of the grief of losing a child. It doesn't matter what happens in your life...there is always something missing.

We are having family pictures taken next month. Typically this is something that is hard for me as my whole family is never there. We have 2 different family pictures; ones with Emma and ones without. Kind of hard. Ok, really hard.

However, we are having our pictures done by Shelly Geller. What makes her so special is that she understands the loss we feel. Her sweet boy, James, died 3 years ago this month. He was 22 months old. He is the same age as Seth. I hold Seth a lot tighter when I think about Shelly wishing she could be holding James. He was also their oldest. She tries to incorporate the child that has died into the pictures in some way. Check out this photo session she did for an expectant Mom who had just lost her daughter 9 months previous. If you look carefully, you will see Lucy's name in the photos. Just lovely.

I know it could be worse. I heard a story of a woman in World War II Prussia whose husband died. She had to travel with her 7, 5, 3 year olds and new born baby to Germany for safety, as she was German. They left in late summer and by the time she reached Germany, she had buried all 4 of her children. To dig 3 of the graves, she had to use a tablespoon. For the last grave, that of her infant, she had no spoon so she dug through the frozen ground with her hands. When she arrived in Germany she was severely emaciated and close to starvation.

When burying her baby girl, she had thoughts of killing herself. She had nothing left. She felt the Lord telling her to pray. And she did. She prayed with all of her might. Her faith led her through this most difficult challenge.

My faith does the same. It keeps me here. It gives me hope. It helps me when I think my heart will literally break in two. My faith. So, while sometimes it just hurts so much, I pause to reflect on all that I do have, all the blessings I have, and I know I can make it through one more day. One day closer to being with all of my children and my husband. One day closer to Heaven.

Lovely

This weekend was really lovely. Friday night Jeremy and I had a hot date folding 2 weeks worth of laundry. It was hot. When doing that I realized that Amelia had no clothing for this Summer. What do we do?? Get up on Saturday morning and go shopping! We went to Kohl's and got some fantastic items for our sweet girl.

We had a great time shopping then came home and watched General Conference. Amelia and I had a date to get my hair cut, she was so cute sitting on my lap while I got my hair washed. So sweet.

Today we enjoyed the sunshine streaming into the living room and had a delicious breakfast of Apple-Cinnamon Pancakes with homemade applesauce and maple syrup. We also had our favorite, green smoothies.





We enjoyed the day together, watching more Conference, enjoying the sunshine and the promise of Spring.

How was your weekend?

Sunshine

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the baby is asleep (on my back, but still asleep), my living room and dining room are clean and my kids are happily preparing to play outside. This, I can handle.

Thank you for all of your warm thoughts the other day. Liberty has an ear infection and didn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time for 3 days. I was miserable. But, she is feeling a tad better and I am peeking out from the fog of sleep deprivation.

I don't think I told you about this fabulous new blog, Experiencing Motherhood. It is so great, so many fabulous stories about what I do best, Mother. I am featured today, it is Seth's birth story. Such a healing and fabulous birth. Go over and read it. Send your friends and add them to your feed reader. It really is fantastic.

Have a wonderful weekend my friends. I'll be back next week with lots of fun posts.

Smooches to you all!

Oh Baby Baby!

Check out this little vixen in the making. Yep, that's me. I was 6 weeks old...so it was probably right around this time, 32 years ago. Man I was cute.


And then 2 years later...yeah, I am Wonder Woman. What? You didn't have Wonder Woman Underoos and some happenin' red boots to go with them? How about baskets on the wall and some groovy wallpaper in your kitchen? Yeah, you gotta love the 70's!


Go on over to In His Hands and join in the baby picture carnival. It's so fun to see what others looked like as babes.